8 Subtle Signs He’s Sleeping With Someone Else

signs he's sleeping with someone else

Ideally, you find the perfect man—one you can trust, one you love, one you makes your insides melt, one who values you for all that you are, one that makes you more.

But it can take you a long time to find that man, and in the meantime, it can take some searching.

And, perhaps, some suspicion. If you see enough of these signs in your relationship, no matter how new or old, no matter how exciting or tested – it may be time to start paying a little more attention, because he just may be cheating on you and sleeping with someone else.

So what signs should you be watching for? Check out this list of subtle signs he’s sleeping with someone else.

One last note of caution before we jump in: These signs don’t necessarily mean he’s sleeping with someone else. You’ll still have to do your own detective work, or, depending on the relationship you have with him, ask him.

But these signs are frequently present when a guy cheats, so keep an eye out for them. Alright, here goes:

They take their time responding to your calls or texts

Of course, this isn’t a surefire signs he’s sleeping with someone else – it could just be that they’re busy, or it could be that they’re trying to put some distance between you—or it could be a sign that they’re with someone else, which is obviously not something you want.

This is especially concerning as a sign if they’ve historically been the kind of guy that immediately responds to your calls or texts.

Similarly, if there has never been a screen lock on their phone, but now suddenly there is, it may be that they’re trying to hide their call or text history from you.

Partners don’t hide things from each other, so be on the watch for these kind of behaviors; even if he isn’t cheating on you, odds are good you don’t have much of a future if he’s hiding from you in these ways.

Late nights and changes in plans

One of the more tell tale signs he’s sleeping with someone else is when their schedule changes unexpectedly, more often or they’re suddenly working more late nights.

Yes, sometimes peoples’ work schedule changes. This is one of those places to listen to your intuition. Has he always had a very steady work schedule, but now all of the sudden he’s regularly telling you he has to work late, that can be something to keep an eye on.

It could be that they’ve picked up an extra time-consuming project and they really are working late, but there are ways to get a feel for this. For instance, consider calling his place of work one of the nights he’s working late.

If he’s there, you know that he actually is working late—and you can tell him you were thinking about him, maybe even give him something to look forward to when he gets off work. If he’s not there, though, you know he’s lying to you.

Again, this isn’t sure proof he’s sleeping with someone else. For instance, maybe he’s lying about working late because he’s doing something else (or picked up a second job), but in either case, the fact that he lied to you should be concerning and worth further investigation, whether that’s trying to figure out what he actually does or point-blank asking him about it.

They jump in the shower immediately after getting home

Obviously, there are good reasons to jump in the shower when first home. For instance, maybe they just got back from the gym and they’re disgustingly sweaty. Or maybe they were helping a friend move. Or maybe they’re just the kind of guy who always showers after work. That’s not the sort of behavior to be concerned about.

Instead, I mean this behavior is concerning if it isn’t normal for them. And it may be a sign that they’re in a hurry to wash off the sex smell of the person they’re sleeping with off.

For other cheating men, this may be a lack of intimacy when they first get home, a need to jump in the bathroom or otherwise gather themselves before they can give themselves to you.

Unless they’re more emotionally damaged than most men I know, juggling relationships (even if one or more of them is only physical) is hard. It takes a toll.

Taking a shower or otherwise seeming strangely withdrawn when first with you can be a sign of them needing time to switch from one relationship (their relationship with the person they’re sleeping with on the side) to another (with you).

You don’t feel valued

If they’ve historically been very attentive to you, your needs, and your emotions, but suddenly aren’t, that’s a pretty clear sign that they aren’t valuing you the way they previously have.

Yes, there are other possible explanations: Perhaps they’re feeling bogged down in their own issues, or have a lot on their mind, and as such aren’t as able to give you the same attention.

But it can also be that they don’t value you the same way they had, and that’s a problem, whether that’s because they’re lavishing that attention on someone else or simply pulling away.

If they’ve historically been very attentive to you, and now aren’t? That’s a sign your relationship isn’t in a good place, and you need to talk with him about what’s going on.

Maybe he simply needs to recommit himself to you and the future the two of you are trying to build together, or maybe he needs to be honest with you that he doesn’t see you in his future—but either way, you deserve better and his full attention. So if he isn’t giving you that, bring it up.

Their sexual behavior changes

Again, this doesn’t have to be a sign of cheating or sleeping with someone else. It can be that they’re simply trying to spice things up with you, or that they’re trying to find new ways to please you.

Sometimes changes in the bedroom are a good thing—especially if you like the new moves or he finds a new way to drive you crazy, for instance.

But if there are changes in sexual behavior, it’s worth investigating more. If it’s a new position, for instance, there are ways to ask about it without putting them on the defensive. Maybe he’s simply done some research (or picked it up from a porno), but it could also be that he picked it up from a new partner.

It can even be that you notice that they’re simply less present when you have sex. It can be that he has something else on his mind, but if it’s a regular occurrence, you should consider that he may just be going through the motions—because he’d rather be sleeping with someone else, for instance.

More concerning yet for you is if they’ve previously been a tiger, completely insatiable, and no regularly have excuses or just seemingly want less sex.

While this can be the result of outside stressors in their life (for instance, if work has been absolutely nuts for them lately, they really may just be too worn down), it can also be a sign that they’re getting that appetite sated elsewhere.

Of course, there is also the possibility that they’re simply distancing themselves from you, too. If your relationship has been in a funk for a while, this is also a possibility.

They become evasive in normal conversations

If you’ve historically had an open communication built on trust, if they start to evade certain line of questions or say things like “why does it matter?” that can be a sign that they’re trying to hide things from you.

While that may not be a relationship, it sometimes is, so consider this concerning—especially if other signs are also present.

The bigger problem here is that your partner isn’t someone you feel like is truthful with you in conversations, or is hiding things from you, then one of the foundational pieces of a relationship is broken between you, and that is a problem that needs to be addressed if you are going to have a future together.

He’s suddenly avoiding your friends and family

Especially if he’s historically been friendly with your circle of friends, your confidantes, and your family, this can be concerning. This means he’s either pulling away or feeling guilty, neither of which are good things, and in either case, you need to find out what’s going on.

So ask him. And trust your gut. If he tells you he’s just being feeling stressed out, for instance, and needed a chance to lay low, trust what you know of him.

He may be telling you the truth – or he may be hiding something. Either way, though, you may be surprised at how good your gut is at ferreting out the truth of what’s going on.

Their grooming changes

This is a huge red flag. If they’re suddenly grooming much more attentively than they have been—especially if you haven’t said anything about their grooming—you should wonder why that may be.

Maybe they’ve taken an interest because it seems to please you, but if that isn’t a plausible explanation, consider who their extra grooming is for. This is especially true if their below the belt grooming changes significantly.

That isn’t the sort of thing most people do unless there is a new partner that has asked them to do so.

Other signs to watch for…

Keep an eye out if his finances have suddenly changed (especially if he says he’s working more, and yet somehow seems to have less money), if he suddenly has a “friend” he keeps mentioning, if he suddenly has a second phone (even if he says it’s a “work” phone, this can be a ruse), if he suddenly can’t ever seem to keep tracks of the plans the two have you have made or is otherwise strangely forgetful, and lastly, watch for changes in his home.

While it’s doubtful you’ll find a pair of panties that aren’t yours, you may well pick up some changes that don’t fit if you keep your eye open if he is sleeping around on you. Most men are not that good at hiding it, so you’re likely to pick up on the signs.

In any case, trust your gut. Oftentimes if you are being cheated on, you will know before you know, if you know what I mean.

And obviously these aren’t the only signs you might see if someone is sleeping around on you, but they are the most common. And on the flip side, none of them are by themselves sure signs he’s sleeping with someone else.

Trust your gut if you think he might be sleeping with someone else, and pay attention to the signs you’re seeing in his behavior.

If he is sleeping with someone else, though, or you otherwise find you can’t trust him? Remember you deserve better. Living with an untrustworthy partner is a waste of your love, not healthy, and wholly unacceptable. You deserve better, so kick that bum out of your life.

How to Be a Bad Girl In Bed: A Guy’s Perspective

How to Be a Bad Girl In Bed

Wondering how to be a bad girl in bed? Join the club. Every girl has heard about the girls who are too nice to land the guy. Or has dated the guy who has made it clear he has a weakness for the bad girls—and has maybe even been cheated on by the guy with that bad girl.

But that doesn’t mean you want to be a bad girl all the time. Nor do guys necessarily want a relationship with the bad girls that can be so much fun to sleep with.

So how do you strike the balance? How do you ensure you can have a healthy relationship, while also giving him that bad girl kick? The truth is, it doesn’t have to be that hard.

Consider these tips from a guy that loves bad girls—and is thrilled his wife is a bad girl in bed while also having all the tools for a healthy, fulfilling long-term relationship.

Here’s how to be a bad girl in bed…

Communicate clearly—and with passion

When we’re having sex with you, we want to know you like it. We want to know how you like it. If you like something, let us know. Moan. Tell us how good it is. Tell us how hot it makes you.

Be blunt with us. Don’t beat around the bush. We’re not good at playing games. And that’s not why we look for a bad girl. We don’t want subtleties or nuance from you, least of all in the bedroom. We want bluntness, because damn, bluntness is sexy.

A few clarifications here: Don’t lie to us. If something isn’t working, don’t tell us it is. If we’re not “making you cum so hard,” don’t tell us we are. Because no matter how dumb we may sometimes seem, we do tend to eventually figure it out. Real passion can’t be faked, and that’s what’s hot: Real passion.

We want to make you cum so hard. But we want it to be real, no matter how good you may be at faking an orgasm, so tell us what works for you, and help us get you there. There is literally nothing hotter than knowing you enjoy sex with us.

(And if you really want to rev us up? Text us your favorite part the next day. Tell us on the phone what you want us to do to you that night. We love when you make it clear what you want from us in the bedroom, both with your words and your body.)

Accentuate the sexy

Look, there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows they’re sexy. Who knows they are a woman, with curves, and isn’t afraid to flaunt those curves.

We men are all about what we see, and there’s nothing sexier than seeing you, in all your glory. Naked, in sexy lingerie—what we want to see is you.

So if you can embrace your sexiness, that makes you all the sexier to us. We don’t care about whatever it is you’re insecure about—we care about you, and your beautiful body! You, naked and confident, is as sexy as it gets.

You want to be a bad girl? Consider letting us watch you masturbate. Not only is it sexy as hell, but it’s a clear indicator to us of what works for you, or it makes for amazing foreplay.


The art of knowing how to be a bad girl in bed all starts with one thing: confidence. And there’s a big difference between a woman who knows she’s been told she’s sexy and a woman who knows she’s sexy, and that difference is confidence.

And confidence is sexy. Bad girls are confident. They don’t care whether or not you think they’re sexy; they know they are. And that’s why we can’t resist bad girls—that confidence is intoxicating.

Enjoy foreplay

This isn’t just the willingness to masturbate for us as mentioned previously, it’s everything that makes foreplay, well, foreplay. It means you’re a responsive and emotive kisser, it means you appreciate the way some good dry humping can set the tone.

It means you know the value of a light touch to an erogenous zone. Good foreplay is all about finding what feels good, is fun, and exploring what revs our engine and yours.

Be an explorer

And if you’re willing to try anything that sounds fun, damn is that sexy. I don’t mean crazy kinky, either, not necessarily. Just a willingness to try whatever sounds fun is sexy. It’s naughty.

And it’s even better if you’re the one with the ideas, willing to suggest new things that sound fun—in bed, in the living room, in the shower, in the hot tub, in the park…you get the idea.

Celebrate your independence

Don’t get us wrong. We love the way you need us in bed—but that isn’t the same as being needy.

Bad girls are independent, fiercely so, willing to fight for what they want—and that aggressive independence, and the willingness to do what they need to assert it, is sexy as hell.

Like sex

Bad girls don’t see sex as an obligation, or something to do once in a while, or a mood that strikes occasionally. No, it’s something they like. Something they look forward to. Something they want.

And we love that! We love that you like sex. We love that with you we don’t have to beg for sex. We love that you suggest sex just as often as we do. We love that it’s a natural expression of affection between us, that it isn’t just for special occasions, birthdays, or after we give you jewelry.

But if you’re not feeling like sex, you know what else is crazy appealing about bad girls? A willingness to talk about sex. Tell us what turns you on, what helps you get in the mood—because we want to help get you there.

And even when that doesn’t get you there? Knowing what’s on your mind is going to help us grow closer—which is going to make the sex we have all that much better.

Want to please

There’s nothing sexier than a girl who loves to give good head and can vary what she’s doing based on our body’s response—sometimes even before we realize our body is responding in that way. That desire to really know our body? That’s a sure sign of a bad girl, and oh, do we men go crazy for it.

That means varying your range. Use us for sex, and let us use you. Ride us gently, and let us pound you. The desire to please means noting the emotional state we’re in, and determining what fits the mood we’re both in.

With the right bad girl, it seems like there’s nothing she wants more than to give us the best sex ever, and that is incredibly, incredibly sexy.

Want to learn

You know what else is incredibly sexy? A woman who wants to be good in bed. Because when a girl wants to be good in bed, they end up being great in bed.

Sex is a skill, and it’s something you can study and put work into, whether that’s lots of sex (preferably all with us), masturbation to figure out what gets you off and how, stories, and more.

A really bad girl doesn’t mean being our school girl—or schooling us. Bad girls help us share a mutual education: We learn you, and you learn us, and together we learn how to keep making our sex better and better and better.

Seduce us

There are times we want to use you. There are times we want you to use us. But there’s an art to seduction that the baddest girls know inside and out, and when they use their full charms to seduce us? We melt. There’s nothing sexier.

Give us your full attention

When you’re 100% into us, and we’re 100% into you, damn does that make for some great sex. That’s some good bad girl sex.

When we have the full undivided attention of a bad girl, it is intoxicating. That level of attention is a drug unto itself. And when we have it from you? We give it right back.

Compliment us

If you enjoy something, let us know. We’ll do the same for you. There is nothing sexier than confidence, compliments, and communication.