Wondering how to be a bad girl in bed? Join the club. Every girl has heard about the girls who are too nice to land the guy. Or has dated the guy who has made it clear he has a weakness for the bad girls—and has maybe even been cheated on by the guy with that bad girl.
But that doesn’t mean you want to be a bad girl all the time. Nor do guys necessarily want a relationship with the bad girls that can be so much fun to sleep with.
So how do you strike the balance? How do you ensure you can have a healthy relationship, while also giving him that bad girl kick? The truth is, it doesn’t have to be that hard.
Consider these tips from a guy that loves bad girls—and is thrilled his wife is a bad girl in bed while also having all the tools for a healthy, fulfilling long-term relationship.
Here’s how to be a bad girl in bed…
Communicate clearly—and with passion
When we’re having sex with you, we want to know you like it. We want to know how you like it. If you like something, let us know. Moan. Tell us how good it is. Tell us how hot it makes you.
Be blunt with us. Don’t beat around the bush. We’re not good at playing games. And that’s not why we look for a bad girl. We don’t want subtleties or nuance from you, least of all in the bedroom. We want bluntness, because damn, bluntness is sexy.
A few clarifications here: Don’t lie to us. If something isn’t working, don’t tell us it is. If we’re not “making you cum so hard,” don’t tell us we are. Because no matter how dumb we may sometimes seem, we do tend to eventually figure it out. Real passion can’t be faked, and that’s what’s hot: Real passion.
We want to make you cum so hard. But we want it to be real, no matter how good you may be at faking an orgasm, so tell us what works for you, and help us get you there. There is literally nothing hotter than knowing you enjoy sex with us.
(And if you really want to rev us up? Text us your favorite part the next day. Tell us on the phone what you want us to do to you that night. We love when you make it clear what you want from us in the bedroom, both with your words and your body.)
Accentuate the sexy
Look, there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows they’re sexy. Who knows they are a woman, with curves, and isn’t afraid to flaunt those curves.
We men are all about what we see, and there’s nothing sexier than seeing you, in all your glory. Naked, in sexy lingerie—what we want to see is you.
So if you can embrace your sexiness, that makes you all the sexier to us. We don’t care about whatever it is you’re insecure about—we care about you, and your beautiful body! You, naked and confident, is as sexy as it gets.
You want to be a bad girl? Consider letting us watch you masturbate. Not only is it sexy as hell, but it’s a clear indicator to us of what works for you, or it makes for amazing foreplay.
The art of knowing how to be a bad girl in bed all starts with one thing: confidence. And there’s a big difference between a woman who knows she’s been told she’s sexy and a woman who knows she’s sexy, and that difference is confidence.
And confidence is sexy. Bad girls are confident. They don’t care whether or not you think they’re sexy; they know they are. And that’s why we can’t resist bad girls—that confidence is intoxicating.
This isn’t just the willingness to masturbate for us as mentioned previously, it’s everything that makes foreplay, well, foreplay. It means you’re a responsive and emotive kisser, it means you appreciate the way some good dry humping can set the tone.
It means you know the value of a light touch to an erogenous zone. Good foreplay is all about finding what feels good, is fun, and exploring what revs our engine and yours.
Be an explorer
And if you’re willing to try anything that sounds fun, damn is that sexy. I don’t mean crazy kinky, either, not necessarily. Just a willingness to try whatever sounds fun is sexy. It’s naughty.
And it’s even better if you’re the one with the ideas, willing to suggest new things that sound fun—in bed, in the living room, in the shower, in the hot tub, in the park…you get the idea.
Celebrate your independence
Don’t get us wrong. We love the way you need us in bed—but that isn’t the same as being needy.
Bad girls are independent, fiercely so, willing to fight for what they want—and that aggressive independence, and the willingness to do what they need to assert it, is sexy as hell.
Bad girls don’t see sex as an obligation, or something to do once in a while, or a mood that strikes occasionally. No, it’s something they like. Something they look forward to. Something they want.
And we love that! We love that you like sex. We love that with you we don’t have to beg for sex. We love that you suggest sex just as often as we do. We love that it’s a natural expression of affection between us, that it isn’t just for special occasions, birthdays, or after we give you jewelry.
But if you’re not feeling like sex, you know what else is crazy appealing about bad girls? A willingness to talk about sex. Tell us what turns you on, what helps you get in the mood—because we want to help get you there.
And even when that doesn’t get you there? Knowing what’s on your mind is going to help us grow closer—which is going to make the sex we have all that much better.
Want to please
There’s nothing sexier than a girl who loves to give good head and can vary what she’s doing based on our body’s response—sometimes even before we realize our body is responding in that way. That desire to really know our body? That’s a sure sign of a bad girl, and oh, do we men go crazy for it.
That means varying your range. Use us for sex, and let us use you. Ride us gently, and let us pound you. The desire to please means noting the emotional state we’re in, and determining what fits the mood we’re both in.
With the right bad girl, it seems like there’s nothing she wants more than to give us the best sex ever, and that is incredibly, incredibly sexy.
Want to learn
You know what else is incredibly sexy? A woman who wants to be good in bed. Because when a girl wants to be good in bed, they end up being great in bed.
Sex is a skill, and it’s something you can study and put work into, whether that’s lots of sex (preferably all with us), masturbation to figure out what gets you off and how, stories, and more.
A really bad girl doesn’t mean being our school girl—or schooling us. Bad girls help us share a mutual education: We learn you, and you learn us, and together we learn how to keep making our sex better and better and better.
There are times we want to use you. There are times we want you to use us. But there’s an art to seduction that the baddest girls know inside and out, and when they use their full charms to seduce us? We melt. There’s nothing sexier.
Give us your full attention
When you’re 100% into us, and we’re 100% into you, damn does that make for some great sex. That’s some good bad girl sex.
When we have the full undivided attention of a bad girl, it is intoxicating. That level of attention is a drug unto itself. And when we have it from you? We give it right back.
If you enjoy something, let us know. We’ll do the same for you. There is nothing sexier than confidence, compliments, and communication.