Category: Casual Dating

Wondering how to be a bad girl in bed? Join the club. Every girl has heard about the girls who are too nice to land the guy. Or has dated the guy who has made it clear he has a weakness for the bad girls—and has maybe even been cheated on by the guy with that bad girl.

But that doesn’t mean you want to be a bad girl all the time. Nor do guys necessarily want a relationship with the bad girls that can be so much fun to sleep with.

So how do you strike the balance? How do you ensure you can have a healthy relationship, while also giving him that bad girl kick? The truth is, it doesn’t have to be that hard.

Consider these tips from a guy that loves bad girls—and is thrilled his wife is a bad girl in bed while also having all the tools for a healthy, fulfilling long-term relationship.

Here’s how to be a bad girl in bed…

Communicate clearly—and with passion

When we’re having sex with you, we want to know you like it. We want to know how you like it. If you like something, let us know. Moan. Tell us how good it is. Tell us how hot it makes you.

Be blunt with us. Don’t beat around the bush. We’re not good at playing games. And that’s not why we look for a bad girl. We don’t want subtleties or nuance from you, least of all in the bedroom. We want bluntness, because damn, bluntness is sexy.

A few clarifications here: Don’t lie to us. If something isn’t working, don’t tell us it is. If we’re not “making you cum so hard,” don’t tell us we are. Because no matter how dumb we may sometimes seem, we do tend to eventually figure it out. Real passion can’t be faked, and that’s what’s hot: Real passion.

We want to make you cum so hard. But we want it to be real, no matter how good you may be at faking an orgasm, so tell us what works for you, and help us get you there. There is literally nothing hotter than knowing you enjoy sex with us.

(And if you really want to rev us up? Text us your favorite part the next day. Tell us on the phone what you want us to do to you that night. We love when you make it clear what you want from us in the bedroom, both with your words and your body.)

Accentuate the sexy

Look, there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows they’re sexy. Who knows they are a woman, with curves, and isn’t afraid to flaunt those curves.

We men are all about what we see, and there’s nothing sexier than seeing you, in all your glory. Naked, in sexy lingerie—what we want to see is you.

So if you can embrace your sexiness, that makes you all the sexier to us. We don’t care about whatever it is you’re insecure about—we care about you, and your beautiful body! You, naked and confident, is as sexy as it gets.

You want to be a bad girl? Consider letting us watch you masturbate. Not only is it sexy as hell, but it’s a clear indicator to us of what works for you, or it makes for amazing foreplay.

Confidence

The art of knowing how to be a bad girl in bed all starts with one thing: confidence. And there’s a big difference between a woman who knows she’s been told she’s sexy and a woman who knows she’s sexy, and that difference is confidence.

And confidence is sexy. Bad girls are confident. They don’t care whether or not you think they’re sexy; they know they are. And that’s why we can’t resist bad girls—that confidence is intoxicating.

Enjoy foreplay

This isn’t just the willingness to masturbate for us as mentioned previously, it’s everything that makes foreplay, well, foreplay. It means you’re a responsive and emotive kisser, it means you appreciate the way some good dry humping can set the tone.

It means you know the value of a light touch to an erogenous zone. Good foreplay is all about finding what feels good, is fun, and exploring what revs our engine and yours.

Be an explorer

And if you’re willing to try anything that sounds fun, damn is that sexy. I don’t mean crazy kinky, either, not necessarily. Just a willingness to try whatever sounds fun is sexy. It’s naughty.

And it’s even better if you’re the one with the ideas, willing to suggest new things that sound fun—in bed, in the living room, in the shower, in the hot tub, in the park…you get the idea.

Celebrate your independence

Don’t get us wrong. We love the way you need us in bed—but that isn’t the same as being needy.

Bad girls are independent, fiercely so, willing to fight for what they want—and that aggressive independence, and the willingness to do what they need to assert it, is sexy as hell.

Like sex

Bad girls don’t see sex as an obligation, or something to do once in a while, or a mood that strikes occasionally. No, it’s something they like. Something they look forward to. Something they want.

And we love that! We love that you like sex. We love that with you we don’t have to beg for sex. We love that you suggest sex just as often as we do. We love that it’s a natural expression of affection between us, that it isn’t just for special occasions, birthdays, or after we give you jewelry.

But if you’re not feeling like sex, you know what else is crazy appealing about bad girls? A willingness to talk about sex. Tell us what turns you on, what helps you get in the mood—because we want to help get you there.

And even when that doesn’t get you there? Knowing what’s on your mind is going to help us grow closer—which is going to make the sex we have all that much better.

Want to please

There’s nothing sexier than a girl who loves to give good head and can vary what she’s doing based on our body’s response—sometimes even before we realize our body is responding in that way. That desire to really know our body? That’s a sure sign of a bad girl, and oh, do we men go crazy for it.

That means varying your range. Use us for sex, and let us use you. Ride us gently, and let us pound you. The desire to please means noting the emotional state we’re in, and determining what fits the mood we’re both in.

With the right bad girl, it seems like there’s nothing she wants more than to give us the best sex ever, and that is incredibly, incredibly sexy.

Want to learn

You know what else is incredibly sexy? A woman who wants to be good in bed. Because when a girl wants to be good in bed, they end up being great in bed.

Sex is a skill, and it’s something you can study and put work into, whether that’s lots of sex (preferably all with us), masturbation to figure out what gets you off and how, stories, and more.

A really bad girl doesn’t mean being our school girl—or schooling us. Bad girls help us share a mutual education: We learn you, and you learn us, and together we learn how to keep making our sex better and better and better.

Seduce us

There are times we want to use you. There are times we want you to use us. But there’s an art to seduction that the baddest girls know inside and out, and when they use their full charms to seduce us? We melt. There’s nothing sexier.

Give us your full attention

When you’re 100% into us, and we’re 100% into you, damn does that make for some great sex. That’s some good bad girl sex.

When we have the full undivided attention of a bad girl, it is intoxicating. That level of attention is a drug unto itself. And when we have it from you? We give it right back.

Compliment us

If you enjoy something, let us know. We’ll do the same for you. There is nothing sexier than confidence, compliments, and communication.

He’s been sniffing around lately and acting all interested but you can’t help but look for signs he just wants to get in your pants.

After all, this is something that most women of most ages has had to deal with.

The good news is that quite often, if a guy just wants sex from you, it’s easy enough to tell.  The more straightforward ones may even admit they’re just looking for a no-strings-attached sex partner or fuck buddy.

Other times, though, guys might not be so honest with you, because they may think they’re more likely to get laid if they tell you what they think you want to hear.

When that happens, it’s all about listening less to what he’s saying, and putting more stock in his actions.

So what do you look for when you get the feeling that this guy is trying to use you for sex? Here’s 17 signs he just wants to get in your pants and isn’t looking for anything more!

He disappears

When a guy is really into you, they’re communicative. When they just see you as sex, though? Not so much.

He’ll be communicative when he’s looking to get laid, and otherwise disappear when he has other things going on, because he doesn’t value his communication with you except as a means to an end, namely sex.

So if he disappears on you regularly , you can guess how he values you: He just wants to get into your pants.

He doesn’t put in an effort

Similarly, if when he was first hooking up with you he put in a bunch of work to impress you, but doesn’t feel the need to do that anymore? He sees you as a way to get laid, not as someone he’s still trying to woo.

That’s a pretty clear sign it’s about the sex for him, and not the relationship.

He bails, regularly

If he regularly cancels on you, it’s because you aren’t a priority. Maybe that’s a bit blunt, but if he just sees you as miss sexy fun time, and not as someone he otherwise values in his life, he isn’t going to be there except when he wants to get laid.

Honestly? This says more about him than it does about you. It tells you he isn’t ready for any kind of meaningful relationship, or the commitment that comes with those relationships. It tells you he isn’t very mature, and that he doesn’t value anyone’s time but his own.

And you have options. Feel free to tell him that you have certain expectations of him if he wants to stay in your life; there’s no reason you have to put him with his crap, and if he’s not willing to put an effort into being with you, feel free to cut him loose.

He only cares about getting off

Look, if he sees you as a means to an end, and just wants to be with you so he can get off, odds are good he’s not even going to be a very good lay for you. After all, that’s one of the key characters of men who suck in bed.

A romp in the sheets that’s over in minutes is good only for him, and is a pretty clear sign he doesn’t care about you.

If, on the flip side, he’s all about finding out what you like, what drives you wild, and makes an effort to make sure he’s doing what he can to satisfy you?

That’s a sign he might have feelings for you. So pay attention to how he is a lover. Most guys are quite capable of rising to the occasion and taking care of their woman; whether or not they make that effort is a pretty clear sign of how they feel about you as a lover and a person.

He isn’t open with you

Lots of guys get a reputation as being closed-off emotionally, and perhaps with good reason. But just as often, that’s an act. If he really wants to be with you, he’s going to make the effort to connect with you emotionally and build a relationship.

If instead, though, you find that when you try to connect emotionally he just pulls away, it can often be because he isn’t interested in a relationship, or the vulnerability or trust that a relationship requires, because he’s just there for sex.

Lots of “friendly” women in his life

If you notice that he keeps explaining all of these other women in his life are “friends,” that might actually be the case. But it’s just as likely that those are other women he’s either slept with before or wants to sleep with in the future.

Having friends of the opposite gender is certainly possible, but if you note that all of these female friends keep showing up in what seem like inappropriate ways for what you know friendship looks like, it could also just as easily be that he doesn’t seem them as friends — but just calls them friends when he’s with you because he likes having sex with you, and doesn’t want to ruin that.

As always, pay attention to his actions, not his words.

His dates are always last-minute

When a guy really wants to be with you, he wants to make plans to be around you and with you in advance, because it’s something he looks forward to.

If he just sees you as a way to get laid, though, he’s not going to plan that a week in advance. Instead he might text you that day (or maybe the day before) to see if you can do something.

That limited notice? It’s because he’s horny. And might even reflect that plans with other women have fallen through. So pay attention to how he plans his time with you and the effort he puts into seeing you.

He hasn’t added you on social media

If he hasn’t added you to his social media accounts, it could very well be that he’s hiding something. If he’s really into you, he’ll likely try and add you on his social media networks immediately.

If he just wants sex, though, he might not — quite possibly because he doesn’t want you to see other images or connections that might give you an idea that you’re not the only woman in his life.

He might even say something like how he doesn’t add people he’s dating, but odds are good this won’t pass the smell test, so trust your gut here; he’s likely playing the field, and just trying not to get caught.

His stories don’t add up

Related to that, he may well be lying to you, either to impress you (so he can sleep with you) or to keep things from you (so he can sleep with you), but most guys are not very good liars.

We can’t keep straight what we’ve said when or where or to who, and if you’re paying attention, you’ll note some things just don’t feel right or fit right. That isn’t a good sign that he respects or trusts you. Instead, he’s just trying to use you for sex.

You get a vibe

Look, we all have pretty good intuitive bullshit meters, whether we choose to listen to them or not.  If you get the vibe that he’s a skeezeball or playing the field? He probably is!

I was on several sports teams in college. I knew who the sketchy guys were even before they shared all their conquest stories at practice, and most of the smart women I knew got the exact same vibe from those guys.

It might just be a feeling, or it might be the lines he uses, or it may even be the way he checks out other women even while he’s with you — but you know. So if your gut tells you he’s trouble, listen to it!

His phone is off-limits

Pay attention to how he keeps his phone when he’s around you. If it’s upside-down or otherwise out of reach, he might be trying to hide something. If he flips out if you playfully reach for his phone, think about why that might be. W

hen guys are playing the field, they have to keep their ladies from finding out about each other, and the easiest way to do that is to protect their phone.

He always wants to stay in

Similarly, if he always wants to stay in, think about why. Is he afraid someone will see the two of you together? Maybe there’s a legitimate reason — like he can’t afford to go out, for instance — but this can definitely be a warning sign.

He has secrets

If his natural habit when you ask him something is to deflect, that’s not a good sign.

Obviously, for many guys, it takes us time to trust the woman we’re with and open up, but trust your gut on this: If it feels like he’s hiding things, he probably is.

He only sees you at strange times

You don’t get consecutive nights, or the full weekend. Instead you might get a quickie during the week, or a 2 AM bar close booty call.

Those are clear signs he’s just into you for sex. This is especially true if he routinely declines to see you on weekend nights, Friday and Saturday, since if he’s just trolling for sex, those are the best nights for him to pick someone up at the bar.

If you’re a known commodity, but he’s out looking for someone else, that’s a pretty clear sign he’s just looking for sex. It doesn’t get much more obvious than that.

You haven’t met his friend

Or if you have, it’s only been in passing, a chance for him to show off the hottie he’s sleeping with. If he values you and sees you as a relationship material, he’s going to want his friends to weigh in and get to know you.

If he just sees you as a sexy plaything, though, there’s no reason for him to socialize you into the group.

He only texts

Look, texting is easy. But if you only ever get texts from him, that can be a sign of a great number of troubling things.

He might be copying-and-pasting his texts to any number of potential hook-ups. He might be texting while he’s with someone else.

The truth is, when it comes to really getting to know someone, talking on the phone is far more effective. If he only ever wants to text, that could be a sign that he’s interested in your body, not in you.

He avoids commitment

This can be both short-term (making plans a week in advance, for instance) or longer-term. The truth is, he’s not interested in a relationship; he’s interested in sex.

And if that’s all he sees you as, he’s not going to want a relationship down the road, either.