If you’re feeling lost, lonely, or otherwise just trying to find your niche in the lesbian world – don’t worry; we’ve all been there. Statistically, the lesbian community is one of the smallest around—comprising only 1.8% of the American population. That’s less than two women out of every 100!

But don’t let the numbers bring you down. Even if you live in the most rural, conservative area, there are still ways to find other lesbians. You just have to know where to look—and that’s where I come in. If you’re struggling to find your niche, look no further.

Check out one of these 7 places to meet like-minded lesbians below, and you’re on the way to joining a lesbian community of your own.

Online Meetup Groups

Where’s a better place to start meeting women than from the comfort of your own home? And it’s just lesbian dating sites, either – there are several online communities you can check out that advertise weekly meet-ups that vary from book clubs, wine/beer tastings, hiking – and some are even lesbian specific.

I personally used Meetup.com to join a lesbian hiking group a few years ago. Nearly twenty lesbian (or bisexual) women showed up on a drizzly day to go hiking nature trails. I didn’t even know that many lesbians were in my city, much less liked to hike as much as I do!

It was so successful that now I use it to meet new friends, lesbians in particular, when I move from state to state. So no matter where you are, definitely check it out. There’s a 90% chance that lesbians are having monthly meet-ups all around you, and you didn’t even know it.

Her Lesbian Events

Although Her started as a dating website, it has added features that allow you to see any lesbian event coming up both near and far. And since Her caters to single lesbians in particular, that means a lot of lesbians are willing to go out and meet new people.

The events range from book clubs to pride parades, and you can even see how many women are interested in attending. All it takes is signing up (for free) and swiping until something appeals to you. Before you know it, you’ll be settling into the perfect niche with a whole new crew of friends.

Lesbian Bars

Bars are a great way to meet fun new friends, no matter who you are. Although very few lesbian-only clubs exist today, almost every major city has bars that cater specifically to the gay community.

However, that doesn’t mean only gay men are there. Lesbians often frequent gay clubs or bars because there’s a lessened chance of being approached by a straight man. Sometimes, they even host special lesbian nights that even the most homebody lesbian will put on real pants to go to. If you’re lucky, you may even get a few free drinks and a drag king show.

Dog Parks

Women love dogs, point blank. Getting my dog was the best thing I could’ve done for my lesbian self. I probably get 3x as much attention with him than without him – 100% of which comes from other women.

On top of that, lesbians flock to the dog park like it’s giving away free Birkenstocks. There never fails to be at least one other lesbian there. And more often than not, they’re totally down for setting up some doggy play dates or grabbing coffee.

So if you have a cute dog, or even a scraggly one, try taking him to the dog park. Not only will your pup have a great time, so will you.

Workplace

This one is a little trickier. Not everyone can be ‘out’ at work, but the ones who can have a big advantage. As the saying goes, like attracts like.

Say your coworker, Angie, hears that you’re a lesbian. She has a friend, Tina, who is also a lesbian. Angie texts Tina over lunch, and bam! The next thing you know, you’re meeting up with Tina for brunch on Sunday. Putting yourself out there allows for some great connections you may not otherwise have.

Sports Teams

It’s not just a stereotype that lesbians love to play sports – they really, seriously do. I mean, what better way to meet other people than by playing a fun game and grabbing a beer afterwards?

In fact, I joined a rec softball and rugby team in college solely for the fact that soo many lesbians were already playing. I had more lesbian friends then than at any other point in my life.

And if you aren’t great at sports but love having fun with all kinds of different types of people, consider joining your local rec league anyway. Most of the time you don’t even have to be good as long as you commit to showing up to the majority of the games.

Bottom line: No matter how you do it, put yourself out there! There’s no better way to find where you fit in than by actively seeking out a niche. Whether it be online, in person, or by happenstance, there will always a place out there for you.

The post 7 Best Places to Meet Lesbians You’ll Actually Get On With appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Yes and it’s usually not the type of lover that makes for wild sex fantasies. Cheating within the in-laws family, or workmates, or household help or neighbors, is risky business. Most partners agree, choosing someone you don’t already know, and who’s married and also responsible for a family, is the safest best.

But it’s also well known that not all married partner want to cheat – and even some single people will not fool around with someone who’s married. This leaves you in a pickle! Who are, statistically speaking, the most likely lovers you’re going to be paired with and what are the pros and cons of dating each?

The Married Lover

Let’s start with the most obvious choice. A married person you meet on the internet or by happenstance in a physical location, is a sure bet for a discreet affair. The fact that they’re married ensures that you will both work to keep the affair private and the two families undisturbed.

Pros: Definitely have an insurance policy, since you can both collaborate on lies and work together on building evidence of your non-cheating.

Plus, married partners rarely leave their spouse, especially if they have younger children, so you don’t have to worry about this getting blown out of proportion.

Cons: Married partners typically lack something in their marriage – usually emotional fulfillment. Therefore, they may begin to treat you as a second spouse, rather than just a lover. They may be eager to share news, eager to talk, and may even confide in their partner’s bad behavior.

Strangely enough, some married lovers will even mention their partners to their spouse in a platonic way – sort of testing their limits. Or bragging. In short, married lovers tend to come with drama in some fashion or another.

The Clueless One Night Stand

Whether you meet this person in a bar or a club, one thing’s obvious. It’s only going to last one night. All you do is mindlessly flirt, dance, drink and avoid too many personal questions. It’s easy to have a one night stand IF you avoid talking about being unhappily married.

Pros: Many lovers you meet in a bar or club will either be oblivious to the fact that you’re married or simply won’t care. If there is an immediate attraction between the two of you, it’s likely your odds of getting laid will increase. Since you may never see this person again, this is a great choice for frequent travelers.

Cons: The bad news here is that some lovers will really want to know that you are not married. And if they are naïve and believe that you’re single, or widowed, or divorced, and then find out the truth somehow…there could be hell to pay.

This person may take your lie personally and see fit to tell your spouse. This is why you really have to make sure it’s a one night stand and not a recurring relationship.

The Workaholic Executive

This lover is pretty stressed…and as a result, he/she tends to lose their conscience and inherent sense of guilt. They know you’re married and don’t care because they don’t have much time to date or love to give, and so figure, a married partner is just what they need.

Their motivation is usually a strong sense of competition with your partner (or your partner’s personality type) or maybe just the thrill of winning a married lover.

Pros: Great at keeping drama to the minimum. Professional-minded. Travels frequently and not likely to be possessive. Always looking for the next conquest in between their career ladder climb.

Cons: Will likely get bored of you, so enjoy it while you can and don’t make a scene when he/she decides the affair is done.

Polyamorous Lover(s)

Polyamorous lovers refer to a “marriage” of sorts, usually involving multiple partners who are faithful in a non-monogamous way. This may include swinging couples, threesome marriages, BDSM masters and slaves, and so on. Some DO prefer that their lovers not be married, but surprisingly, many don’t.

Pros: These lovers buck the traditional concept of marriage and so they often entertain lovers who are married, since they understand your non-monogamous desires better than anyone.

Cons: These people tend to be defensive about their own lifestyles and sometimes judgmental about yours. Don’t be surprised if you clash with them when it comes to etiquette or differences of opinion. They want what they want and will essentially demand you be a willing slave. Not for all tastes, but if you like to please they will have you!

Sugar Babies

The “kept women” of the modern era, sugar babies can make surprisingly great affair partners. These lovers tend to be younger and are willing to readily give you exactly what you want…granted you scratch their back as well with regular shopping trips and all their living expenses taken care of.

They enjoy the idea of breaking the rules and having a (rich) older lover spoil them with gifts and free rides. If you want fun (and have the resources), sugar babies are a great way to spend your savings account.

Pros: Sugar babies actually seem to enjoy being flaunted around town, are up for sexual relationships, and many don’t care that you’re married. Their youth makes them particularly open to suggestion, so be a teacher in the bedroom.

Cons: You better have enough money because once you stop paying, the sugar relationship is over.

Rebound Dates

Men and women on the “rebound” are so wrapped up in themselves, they will usually not care about your marital status. They just want to be desired and seen as very attractive – even worth leaving your spouse for!

The typical story is that they just got out of a long relationship and are not looking for another…they just want sex.

Pros: The good news is they really DON’T want to ruin your marriage. They just want reassurance and ego-massaging.

Cons: Don’t expect these lovers to last very long. As soon as they get their self-esteem back they will dump you in a hurry and go back to living a pristine social life.

Escorts

Escorts may well be the ideal choice for a discreet sex partner. As a movie star once said, “I don’t pay women to have sex with me…I pay them to leave.” Escorts understand this lesson more than anyone and frankly, it’s part of their job description.

They’re paid to leave, to be professional and not clingy. Escorts don’t care about marital status…they just want to get paid.

Pros: You really do get your choice of body and personality types. Escorts tend to be more intelligent and cultured than bar hopping girls, prostitutes and drama queens looking for married men to jerk around.

Cons: There is some concern over STDs, although some escorts may agree to be tested. Then again, many will not and will insist you just use a condom. Condoms are not guaranteed to protect against STDs, unfortunately.

As you can see, all of these affair partner types have their pros and cons and can be ideal for you, depending on your situation. Weigh the pros and cons and determine what you can live with, and what you can’t. Avoid drama and stick to the loveless sex. That’s what make affairs fun and stress-free!

The post Who’s the Perfect Affair Partner? 7 Types of Lovers to Cheat With appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Yet, the next challenge of finding out the “where and when” is no easy feat. If you get caught, it’s a real buzz kill. If you don’t take a chance and summon up courage to go through with it soon enough…your partner may get tired of waiting.

Now is the time to act. So you might as well decide in advance some smart, creative places to cheat. Here are the five best places to cheat (and one worst) when you’re married and the pros and cons of each scenario.

Don’t: At Home

You’re playing a dangerous game by keeping the sex at home – either when your partner is away at work or at a social function, or while your partner is sleeping in the other room. Hot! Only thing is…you’re really likely to get caught in this situation, since real life is not really like Internet porn.

PROS: Sex is extremely guilt-ridden, taboo and dangerous – a huge rush with great orgasmic potential.

CONS: Not just a risk of your partner walking in on you, but also you’re more likely to leave clues around the house, making your partner suspicious.

Can you really hold strong under Q&A questioning? A spouse hot on your trail is worse than a cop!

Do: A Hotel

Hotels might well be the most preferable option, since you can splurge on a nice classy place with a romantic dinner (hopefully out of town) or even rent a cheap hotel room for just a few hours for a low price.

If you’re going to go the hotel route, play it safe. Work with cash only and leave no trail of evidence behind.

PROS: Discretion, quietness and a relatively safe way to get the privacy you need.


CONS: Cheap hotels are not romantic and may actually turn your partner off from the sizzling sex you’ve been talking about. There are resort hotels which are great, of course, but they will cost you an arm and a leg, especially since it’s best to arrange for a hotel out of town and not nearby.

Do: Airbnb

Surprisingly, sex is okay with many homeowners who rent out their homes to guests for Airbnb. While a few homeowners may have requests against such acts if you’re open about your reasons and only want to stay for an hour or so, if you rent for the day or night and pretend like you’re a married couple, you may find less discomfort.

Many Airbnb hosts see no difference between their rented room and any ordinary hotel. There was a Business Insider feature story a while back detailing how Airbnb is becoming notorious for hookups and younger crowds.

Do: Backseat of a Car

Call this the Craigslist option because it’s a little unorthodox and for the truly eccentric among us. The backseat of a car allows you to have some privacy, while also avoiding the usual problems with hotel bookings, and the risk of being discovered that comes with that.

If you’re going to have sex in the backseat of a car, it’s best to pick an out of the way spot, like a drive-in theater, an unpopulated nature retreat, or another deserted part of the city.

PROS: Very hot, to make out in a car and “lose control” of where you are. It’s like you’re teenagers again and you’re flirting with that taboo of going too far. You save on money for sure.

CONS: There’s more of a risk of being caught, not to mention the added risk of a police officer breaking up your party, or even a mugger, depending on where you are in the city.

The cramp spaced is also not conducive to erotic positions. Your only options, realistically speaking, are oral, missionary and maybe woman on top—if she’s particularly limber.

A better idea may be to arrange for a truck make out session, since you can make love on the bed, preferably at a camping site or someone where out in the quiet country where you won’t be discovered. Just bring a few extra blankets for a comfortable fling.

Do: In Public

Obviously, you want to be very, very careful when venturing out for some sexy time. But there are many ways to make this work well away from spying eyes.

If you live near a beach, setting up a tent or even a simple picnic spot in the evenings is a low-key and even romantic way to get it on.

If you and your affair partner are both into nature, hiking trails offer plenty of opportunities for privacy, although you’ll most likely have to do it standing up.

If you really want to get creative, think outside the box bed. There are spas and resorts where you can rent a couples jacuzzi for a few hours, providing you utter privacy to get it on and some restful relaxation.

Other ideas? You’d be surprised how underused stairways are. Many rooftops are similarly under-occupied. Get creative.

Do: Online Fooling Around

Lastly, if you can’t seem to get away from work or home, you can always fool around online after your spouse goes to bed. With online messenger or the option of private chat rooms, you can keep things quiet. If your spouse is a heavy sleeper, you can even try web cam.

If your schedules can’t seem to coincide, write emails to each other, with explicit sexual fantasies.

As you can see, arranging for a classy and enjoyable affair depends on your imagination and romantic nature. Any place can be an ideal location if the chemistry is good and you’ve thought the fantasy through.

The post Top 5 Best Sneaky Places to Cheat With Your Lover (And the Worst) appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Drama queens (and kings) tend to lay low and make you THINK it’s all about sex. But the truth is, they enter these relationships for dysfunctional reasons. They WANT the drama and that’s pretty much all they get from it.

The best thing for you to do, if you want to keep this affair discreet and problem-free, is to learn how to identify jealous affair partners and avoid them like the plague. Look for these “symptoms” of malfunctioning lovers.

They want to “save you”

These lovers are an episode of The Young and the Restless waiting to happen. It’s not enough that you’re together for the moment…they want to believe that they are saving you from your terrible life. They are your savior and you owe them the world.

That’s a dangerous place to be if your objective is to have guilt-free fun. In an ideal affair, both partners respect the emotional bonds of the non-cheating spouse. They want the marriages to work…they don’t want to trade partners. If your sex partner has delusions of rescuing you, avoid them at all costs!

They’re lonely and want to fall in love

First rule of affairs – don’t fall in love. You can’t afford to lose your family. Most single men and women who enter a relationship “open-minded” are a huge risk. What you do want are closed-minded lovers who understand this is a purely sexual relationship with no hope of emotional fulfillment.

Polyamorous lovers, sugar babies and escorts are closed-minded in that they know there are rules that should never be broken…and that these relationships are ultimately doomed. They have no delusions about falling in love and that is what you want to find.

They want to know too much

Avoid lovers who ask too many personal questions or who want to talk about life.

Sorry, but casual affairs are NOT about finding a second spouse. While it’s tempting to play “house” with the other affair partner and confide everything you dislike about your home life, it’s a dangerous game.

If you love your spouse, you emotionally confide in them. You leave sex for your lovers. There are plenty of fun and sexy things to talk about with a lover, in fact so much so, that there should be no extra time to talk about “real life.”

If talking about cheating on your spouse(s) turns you on, then make it vague. Don’t go into detail and don’t ask for more information. Keep things fun and mysterious.

They think about the future

Avoid partners who keep thinking and talking about the future…with you in it.

The future is supposed to be uncertain. Affairs are about the now because there well may never be a tomorrow. Partners who insist on knowing the future of the relationship are trouble.

You, talking about the future to a partner (even if you think they understand that you’re just goofing around) is a big mistake. Do not lead a casual partner on to think there’s a future when there clearly isn’t.

They feel guilty

Avoid partners who admit that they feel guilty.

For one thing, don’t bring up guilt. No one really wants to talk about guilt during an affair. But beyond that, if your partner admits readily that they have second thoughts about what they’re doing, it’s usually a red flag that this is going to end badly.

If you’re lucky, that means they might just stop seeing you without an explanation. But if you’re not so lucky, they might confess to their partner what has happened out of guilt and a need to repent for their mistakes.

They don’t respect boundaries

Avoid partners who cross your boundaries and constantly test you.

Seriously, don’t underestimate the crazy psycho-sexual partner who constantly pushes you past your limits. Sure, it’s sexy at first…but eventually you realize the thrill for them is in manipulating you and toying with you.

Their motivation is to break you, to provoke you, and to bring out your weakness. They are primarily motivated by jealousy; even though they may not want you all to themselves, they DO want your attention constantly.

This can get ugly very fast. The best sexual partners are people who are not emotionally volatile one way or the other, but respect the discretion and boundaries of both partners.

They’re single

This is somewhat controversial in affair circles but if you really want to err on the safe side and avoid life-destroying jealousy, take our advice and avoid singles and stick to people who are married and have children.

People who are (seemingly) happily married are far less likely to become jealous or try to transform the relationship into a new marriage. They realize that their family life is content…it’s everything they want socially and emotionally.

They just realize that they need a little bit extra kink. This means that they have just as much to risk as you do, and so they will collaborate with you on believable alibis to keep the affair secret.

The post How to Avoid Jealous Affair Partners: Look Out for These 7 Signs appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Wait! That’s actually a really bad idea. The first rule of cheating, if you don’t want to get caught and expose yourself to a heap of drama, is to choose someone who has NO connection to your home life. Preferably, someone your spouse has never met, nor has anyone from your family or friends ever met them.

The best place to meet someone is online, or maybe at a bar or club. Of course, once you make the connection, it can be difficult to maintain the relationship, since one or both of you have to keep it a secret.

Relax, we have six ideas for you on where to meet your newest fling discreetly for an extramarital affair – and hopefully one that doesn’t end with a surprise visit by the reality show Cheaters.

Go somewhere out of town

Naturally, driving out of town is the best plan to avoid bumping into someone you know. Choose a location that’s new to both of you, one where you won’t be recognized by her friends, family, or yours.

Dinner is a very public location and if you know 100 or more people and he/she knows 100 or more people, the odds of rumors circulating increases.

The darker, the better

Go to a dark theater or auditorium, somewhere out of view.

Dating is difficult when you’re stuck in town, and especially with a well lit room open to everyone’s judgmental eyes. So take advantage of a dark theater, a comedy show, musical or concert, where the view of others is obstructed.

It’s also a more romantic setting where you can quietly enjoy each other’s company, hold hands, and whisper sweet nothings.

Keep things professional at work

You’ll find that many people have mixed feelings on dating someone you know from work. On one hand, work can spill over into home life quickly.

On the other hand, you may actually like the pretend game you’re forced to play, keeping things professional, and yet communicating with secret glances, notes, and emails.

You can’t touch or flirt in public but you still can communicate in secret. Sometimes you may even be able to touch each other when no one else is looking. Just be careful not to get caught by management!

Continue your erotic conversation online

It’s actually easier and more fun to continue and build an existing relationship online than it is to start one from scratch. Online communication takes advantage of your imagination, builds intimacy, and allows the both of you to be bold and dangerous…even in a safe setting.

You can communicate through email, online messenger, web cam app, or texting. It’s a great way to date intellectually when you can’t be together physically.

Birds of a feather fly together

Call in favors from a friend or relative…One who can relate to your problem!

Friends are there to help you out, right? Don’t be so sure. Some friends will be there for you…and some will betray you in a heartbeat.

Rather than count on all your friends to be your BFF, it’s better to stick with friends who have cheated before or who are accepting of your affair – possibly because they know why you cheat and why it’s difficult to live with your spouse.

If this is the case, a friend may help you by securing a location for you, such as a cabin in the woods, a summerhouse, or some other rental unit for your dating pleasure.

Business meetings away from home

Although most people meet their mistresses in a bar or club setting (where alcohol flows freely), a surprising number of people first meet their new partners at a business function.

Since this setting is not necessarily “at work” (it could be a business training seminar, a client meeting, a networking opportunity), there is more freedom and not as many watchful eyes.

Besides, plenty of unhappily married people bury themselves in their work. Not only are business functions a great place to meet a new partner, but you can also continue dating at such functions, conveniently using the excuse of having to work extra hours. And hey, the boss thinks you’re doing great putting all this extra time in!

Did you know that according to Ashley Madison statistics, it only takes a person approximately 36 hours to find a partner for an affair?

You might say that finding a lover is the easy part (as long as you’re not extremely picky). The hard part may well be finding time and location to intensify the affair. However, these tips can help you get started and make this one a love for the ages.

You can find people to have an affair with anywhere. If you would prefer to do it in person, then depending on the kind of person you want to have an affair with, you should go to requisite places.

Bars and pubs are good place to find men and women having affairs. In these places, the people are usually relaxed and unwinding, and hence are easy to approach. They are also looking to have a good time. So you can simply strike a conversation with them and find out if they are willing or available to have an affair.

The post Where to Meet Your Affair Partner? 6 Tips for Choosing Discreet Date Spots appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Well, the answer is: don’t even try to.

The whole you is something that can’t be reduced to a blurb and it’s not even something people can uncover on the first date. It takes a lifetime to get to know someone…and even then, it’s often not enough.

One of the biggest mistakes people make with online dating is trying to squeeze everything there is about them in a few, short sentences.

We say – don’t even bother. Keep it short, simple, and sweet. Use the advantage of online dating to put your best foot forward. As for the other stuff? Let them find out date after date. It’s more fun that way.

That being said, here are 5 rules you should follow to craft the perfect online dating profile:

Rule #1. Keep it simple, stupid

We all know the KISS rule, yet there are so many online daters violating it like it’s nobody’s business. Nobody wants to read a potential date’s autobiography and there is absolutely no need for a profile that is over 500 words.

Try to keep it short and pithy – max 300 words. Choose your words carefully and include only what is necessary to paint a feeling image of yourself, not your resume.

Rule#2. Be positive

Have you ever read an online profile and clicked “back” with a bad taste in your mouth? Like, you never actually met the person but you already knew they were the type to whine and moan about everything?

Nobody wants to go on a date with that Debbie Downer.

Even in a brief, 300-word profile that are aspects of personality that immediately transfer to the reader. Depending on the language that you use to express yourself, people can pick up on traits like bossiness, aggression, desperation, and meanness.

Keep your language and tone aspiration, positive, and optimistic. Talk about your hopes, dreams and passions and keep the tone light and conversational.

Tip: Spend a few moments thinking about things that make you really happy and then proceed to write your online profile – with a smile on your face. The feeling will transfer.

Rule #3. Photos are key

Men are visual creatures. That doesn’t mean they don’t care what you have to say write, it just means they like the photos too.

Choose amazing photos. Use photos in which you’re laughing, use photos that show your personality, use photos in which you’re caught in a moment.

Do not use CV photos – you know the ones with some muted color background and you sitting with a bright-eyed-and-fluffy-tailed smile plastered on your face.

Rule #4. Downplay your accomplishments

This one might rub some of you the wrong way, but we’re not suggesting you hide it forever. It’s awesome that you’ve done amazing things, but keep your resume out of the online dating game, at least in the beginning.

Mentioning that you won a Pulitzer or started and run 15 businesses might be a bit too much – until they get to see you and know you as a person. Then, your accomplishments will become awesome – a part of you.

But until then, you first. Accomplishments second.

Rule #5. Maintain psychological distance

Ending your profile with a description of the perfect man and a hopeful, “Is this you?” is cute but a tad too much. So is sending an email back right away (try to wait at least 20 hours) or sending messages during normal sleeping hours.

Maintaining a little distance is not akin to playing hard-to-get – it’s more letting the other person know that you’re a normal, psychologically sounds person (which when dating online, people are naturally wary of). It gives them a sense that you very much have your own life and are interested in dating, but you’re not hanging around online all the time.

Ready to get started dating? Check out the best online dating sites!

The post 5 Rules Every Woman Should Know About Crafting the Perfect Online Dating Profile appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

And don’t get me wrong – as a plus size woman, I love the attention. At least, most of it.

The thing is, not all attention is flattering. Some of it can be a downright turnoff. And that’s really a shame, considering all you have to do as a man is modify a few things to turn the attention you’re paying a lady into something she glows and basks in rather than blocks you for.

So, in the interest of helping out all you men who like big women – here’s a little list of things you should know!

Announcements not necessary

I’m a big woman. I know it, you know it, the world knows it. So if you’re messaging me, I already assume that you like big women – without you having to announce it.

This is something pretty much every big woman I’ve ever known agrees with: we don’t need you to spell out for us that you like big, beautiful women, especially in the first message. You’re on a BBW dating site, you’re messaging a woman who’s clearly big so it’s pretty redundant to mention it in your messages.

Leave weight out of it

Actually, let’s take this a step further and just leave weight out of it. Big women – like all women – like to know that you are interested in us for who we are as people, not for our size or any other specific feature that appeals to you.

If you look at the spectrum of women, this applies in every case. My Asian female friends admit to being really turned off when a guy messages them mentioning how they “love Asian women.” My black female friends say the same thing.

Well, guess what? Fat women feel the same. We know we’re fat and we already know you’re into our body type – that’s why you’re messaging us in the first place. But if that seems to be the only thing you care about, especially in the first few messages, it’s uncomfortable and a bit of a turnoff.

Just don’t do it – instead, ask her about herself, her interests, her background and leave weight out of it.

Copy and paste doesn’t cut it

Here’s a little secret some men on BBW dating sites don’t seem to know yet: a lot of us girls are friends with one another and yes, we do talk and share notes.

It may be less effort and time to send us all copy and paste messages but it’s pointless because we will know. So stop doing it, it doesn’t work.

The best messages that work?

The sort of messages that women always respond to – even if we’re not necessarily drawn to your profile at first – are the ones that speak to who we are as people.

So make that extra effort to actually read what’s written on our profile and bonus points if your first message references something from that profile. Even more brownie points if your message has nothing to do with weight or looks at all but instead refers to our interests and unique personalities.

And of course, keep it light and positive. If you can be funny on top of all that, you’ll be inundated with responses.

We’re not dirty little secrets

Some men seem to think it’s okay to hookup with fat women but that it’s not as acceptable to be seen with us in public. That’s just mean…and sad.

Sad for you because you haven’t yet embraced what you’re into and don’t have the confidence to tell the world what you like.

But don’t bring us into your sad little party because we are not looking to play the role of your secret side girl.

To the men who like big women: this post wasn’t intended to be harsh – it’s just the truth. And if you put what you found here into practice, you’ll have so much more luck with the big, beautiful women you’re attracted to. Now go forth and impress all of us with your newfound knowledge!

The post 5 Things All Men Who Like Big Women Should Know appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Let’s illustrate a scenario: After seeing your college girlfriend after a couple of years or so, and you notice that she’s gone soft around the edges. What would a decent person say?

A: “Hey! How are you?
B: “There’s this great new diet I’m trying. Maybe you should try it with me?”

In life there’s such a thing called a filter, and its essential to use it as you speak. Just like in dating, there are certain things you have to watch out for if you want things to go smoothly.

So here are some things you should definitely NOT do when dating a BBW!

Don’t fetishize your BBW

Okay, if you fetishize us, you’re immediately out. There is no faster way to fall out of favor with the woman you fancy than by making her feel like she falls under a category among fetishes.

It’s one thing to appreciate her body but keep in mind that she’s a human being with feelings. She has a lot to offer so don’t go objectifying her and making her feel like she’s only good for your sexual desires just because she looks a certain way.

And don’t bother looking into dating a BBW woman when all you want to do is to fulfill your fetish FATASY. See what I did there? It’s a waste of our time.

So bye Felicia. We deserve a man who loves us for who we are and thats both our looks and personality.

She’s not your dirty secret

Don’t ever make your BBW feel like your not so little dirty secret. I don’t know why a person would do that in the first place but the fact that you’re dating us on your accord, it’s your responsibility to make sure we feel comfortable and happy. That includes introducing us to your friends and family.

If you don’t plan to introduce us to them just because most of them are skinny bastards that won’t understand why you decided to date a plus size lady then bye. I’m sorry but we don’t want to deal with men who aren’t proud of us.

And yes we do deserve to be appreciated like every other woman out there, plus size or not.

What’s the point of comparison?

Why would you fall for a plus size woman and then waste your time comparing her to other women in the first place? Why did you date her in the first place when you have a completely different image in your head? Please don’t. Please don’t make us feel like we’re not good enough by comparing us to other women.

The moment you start comparing us for not being like other women, you’re not pointing out something that’s wrong with us – you’re pointing out that there’s something seriously wrong with you. Get over your insecurities and learn to accept what you’re attracted to or don’t waste our time asking us out.

Leave the weight talk out of it

Don’t talk to us about our weight or trying to get healthy. Because we know, we hear it all the time from well-intentioned co-workers, family and friends. We know our “flaws” more than anyone out there. So please don’t make it your life mission to change my size. There’s a reason why I’m still plus size in the first place.

Just because we’re plus size doesn’t mean we eat a lot, we don’t exercise and we don’t care about our appearances and if you buy into these insidious myths about plus size woman – maybe you shouldn’t be dating one.

Don’t assume as well that plus size women can’t be anorexic or bulimic. Remember that not everyone embodies their eating disorders. You don’t know what you don’t know so don’t use our date time to air your assumptions about our weight.

And keep in mind that for many of us, our weight is our biggest insecurity. But we don’t let our weight define us. That’s not for you to fix. It’s for us to conquer. So if you love and care for us, please just focus on that.

We’re not all huge food lovers

Uhm what? Just because we’re bigger means we love food? Just because we’re bigger we love to cook? Honey please, there are some skinny women out there who are excellent cooks but have smaller figures. And just like the opposite, there are bigger women out there who just aren’t all that interested in food. That’s actually possible even for people like us. So please don’t assume that just because we’re big we’re all about the food.

If you love food, we are more than willing to support you and your mission to discover great tasting food, however don’t expect that all BBWs are all about the food, because not all of us are and I’m sorry for bursting your bubble.

We do notice how you treat us

An offshoot of the common fat myth that bigger woman don’t take care of themselves is the assumption that because we apparently don’t care about ourselves, we won’t care how you treat us. Which means we make the most low maintenance dates ever!

I’m sorry but if you’re planning to date us because you think that we’re easier to maintain then you’re out. Don’t ever think that you could get away with just mediocre gestures or words to make us happy.

If you want to last with a BBW, you do need to show that you care by demonstrating effort and investment. We are, after all, women, and we’re looking for more than mediocre dates and tawdry relationship tricks. Appreciation is the name of the game. So the moment we catch a whiff of whatever you’re planning or lack of planning, we’re out.

Big girls are tough

There are some men out there – although the title “men” may not apply to these folk – who think that because BBW are bigger, they don’t need the chivalrous “protection” of men. As in, we don’t deserve to be treated like the ladies we are simply because we’re bigger than your average gal.

Well, you’re right about one thing: most of us are damn tough. The fact that we have to go through society’s microscope every single day makes us either upset AF or tough AF. Either way, experience has helped us to smell jerks from a mile away. A skill we learned from dealing with assholes and bitches all our lives.

But just ’cause we can take care of ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we don’t like to be wooed and to feel like our man wants to be there for us. If you can’t demonstrate that we matter to you enough for you to be a gentleman, we’re definitely looking somewhere else.

The post 8 Things to NOT Do When Dating a Chubby Girl appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Oh, and before we continue, here’s a quick note to all you “normal” sized people out there who assume and perpetuate these myths: don’t presume you know our lives – especially our dating lives. 

Just because this false reality exists in your head, it doesn’t mean it’s our reality.

Dating is challenging as is, no matter what size you are, and we certainly don’t need the extra weight of your fat biases heaped on us to drag us down.

So before you repeat some idiotic notion of what dating is like for all people – read through this list of myths about BBW dating. Perhaps it’ll give you an idea of what dating really is like on the other side of the scale. You may even find we’re not so different after all.

Plus size women are insecure

Hold up. Stop right there. Before you go even further with that train of thought, I’d like to ask you one thing: how many women – or people in general – do you know who don’t have insecurities?

Guess what? Insecurities are a fact of life, no matter what size you are or what you look like.

The difference is that plus size women have had what is assumed to be their main insecurity shoved in their faces every day. And that doesn’t make you more insecure – it actually forced you to come to terms with your imperfections and ultimately accept yourself.

As a result, not only are bigger women secure with themselves but we’re pretty damn confident. After all, when you can learn to love and accept yourself in the face constant criticism, how could you not be?

Plus size women can’t get laid

This is just silliness. If you believe this, you need to expand your horizons and get to know people from different walks of life. Or even just try talking to – really talking to, without judgment – your friends and acquaintances.

In doing so, you might learn this little truth about life: people have preferences that span a wide variety. And I mean preferences and not fetishes. And as hard as it might be for some people to believe: yes, there are people that do prefer plus size women. Like there are men who prefer redheads over brunettes, men who prefer tattoos and so on.

Oh, and for those people who assume that big women don’t have a sex drive…umm, we’re people too. I don’t even know why this myth exist in the first place considering most people have a sex drive, it’s just that how much they have depends on the person. Just because you know one plus size woman who isn’t sexually active, it doesn’t mean that applies to all of us.

So don’t assume that BBWs don’t get laid. We don’t have trouble with this.

You need a lot of money to feed a BBW

Wait, what? Just because we’re bigger, it doesn’t mean you have to increase your budget for dates. Not all plus size women are plus size because they eat a lot. It can be because of genetics, hormones or an underlying condition that affects their weight. But don’t assume that you need to constantly feed a BBW in order to make us happy.

What makes us happy is being with someone who understands us and appreciates us for the way we are – kinda like all people. As long as you love us for us, then we’re good. We don’t need a huge food budget to be happy. What we want is love and acceptance. That’s it.

BBW don’t have standards

This is an outright absurd notion that assumes just because a woman is larger than average, she’ll settle for any guy that looks her way. In reality, it’s not easy to pick us up at all.

BBWs are not “easy.” The fact that we go through a lot every day in our fat bias culture makes us acutely aware of the things people think about us. As a result, we can be pretty guarded. But more than that, most of us have had to work through and process the crappy myths – like this one – that are said about us.

And that’s resulted in better self knowledge, which translates to standards. By standards I don’t mean superficial things like money, status and power. Nope. By standards I mean, loving, supportive, and whatever it takes to make a person emotionally compatible with another person.

People develop coping mechanisms in order to survive. Similarly, in the context of dating people create their own set of standards, and BBW are no exception to this concept. So don’t assume that BBWs don’t have standards. Because we do. And even if we haven’t totally figured out who we are (that’s a life long process, I hear), we at least have the standards to keep jerks far away from us.

BBWs don’t care about appearance

People make all sorts of snap judgements based solely on how you look, don’t they? The most common surrounding plus size women? We’re lazy. We don’t take care of ourselves.

This is sheer silliness. Sure, some of us are lazy. What percentage of any population isn’t? But to say because we’re bigger, we don’t take care of ourselves is an obviously inane conclusion to draw. Some of us may prefer to shy away from fashion trends, but we are all women.

We generally care about how we look – not to impress you, but because it feels lovely to be good to ourselves.

As a BBW, we do care about appearance. We care because it affects us the most. Anyone could guess that our biggest insecurity could be our appearance, but we don’t let it limit us.

No one could like us for our looks

If you don’t find us pretty, that’s fine…just don’t assume that because you don’t find us attractive, nobody else will. In fact, there are many people out there who love us for who we are despite our weight. Or what some people call “baggage.”

Being plus size, people think that we need to rely on everything else but our looks. Nope. Some men like and prefer the extra lumps and humps and all that jazz.

So don’t assume that all plus size women, are nice, soft, caring and understanding and that’s all we have going for us. Unfortunately, some of us are just as shitty as skinny people. And there are still interested men because our body types simply work for them.

As you can see, there are so many misconceptions that come with dating plus size women or plus size people in general. But what people don’t understand is that everything is relative.

One size definitely does not fit all. And I don’t mean clothes. I mean in life and love as well. You don’t have to be skinny or plus size to find love. You just have to be able to put yourself out there and know that you deserve love just like any other person around you.

The post 8 Huge Myths About BBW Dating appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.

Most of the BBW websites like Large Friends and Elite Singles, were created in the early 2000s to provide a much needed virtual place for big, beautiful women and BBW admirers to meet and mingle. And they’ve mostly succeeded with their mission – as a plus size woman, you definitely feel a lot more welcome around these neck of the woods.

But just because these sites exist, it doesn’t mean you know how to best navigate them. So, here are some tips to get you started in your BBW online dating exploration!

Jump right in!

To quote Nike, just do it! If you’ve been sitting on the fence, wary of dipping even a toe into the waters of BBW online dating – you’re missing out. There’s literally no easier way to meet BBW admirers and sexy, chubby singles.

Not creating a profile will only make it harder for you to meet people. You will be limited to just browsing through different names without the opportunity to actually talk to them. But you won’t be able to do that or experience anything, if you don’t put yourself out there.

So create a profile and start your online dating adventure!

Make a profile that best express who you are. Post your favorite pictures, and your best traits. Make your profile the best version of you.

As much as parts of online dating remain sleazy – as does all dating, actually – it could also be a great way to attract the right people if you wanted to.  And the first step you have to do to be successful with online dating is to get started. So do it!

Don’t catfish

We all know that famous MTV show, “Catfish” where people pretend to be someone they’re not in order to have a relationship with other people online. That is just not nice and definitely not conducive to meeting someone you can fall in love with.

So first and foremost, you shouldn’t lie about yourself. Even if the online medium makes it easy to do. Even if there are parts of yourself that you’re still insecure and ashamed of. Just the basic act of lying about who you are is as harmful to yourself as it is to the person you’re lying to.

You’re also attracting the wrong kind of people. People that will be less understanding with your circumstances because of your lies.

So be honest and let the pieces fall into place. 
Trust me, you’ll be surprised with how many people are willing to ask you out, by just being you.

Take everything with a grain of salt

If it’s your first time putting yourself out there, whether online dating or real life dating, always remember to take everything with a grain of salt and take one day at a time. Dating isn’t always about finding the right person in a short amount of time.

Especially with online dating, where people may put on facades in order to get what they want.

You must be able to tell which of the people you are talking to are genuine, and which of those are just playing around.

So accept the compliments and let yourself feel appreciated. But don’t let any of those compliments define anything just yet.

Play the field

Although I wanted you to be careful with what others may say to you in my last tip. Here, I want you to play the field.

Make sure that you talk to as many people as you can. You find someone you like, hit them up. You think their profile is cute? Like it! Don’t hesitate. In the first place you need to be more aggressive when you’re pursuing online dating, because sitting in front of your computer won’t deliver results.

Besides going out of your way to talk to people, make sure you update your profile every so often.

Change your profile picture, and pick the ones you love the most. If you have a new hobby, add it to your hobby section of your profile.

Always updating your profile will also help you play the field. It’s like the equivalent of buying new clothes or makeup for a special night out or date night. Only this time, you’re choosing your best qualities and features to advertise yourself online.

So ladies, play the field – which is something you don’t always get the chance to do with “traditional dating.” Whereas you might find one or two men per month who pique your interest in “real life” – online, you’ll meet multitudes of people. So take advantage of that! Spice up your profile every now and then, and always remember to go out of your way to interact with people you’re interested in.

Don’t give too much info away

I know this might contradict what I said earlier about playing the field and changing up your profile every now and then. But don’t give too much personal information away. This time I’m talking about safety here.

What’s the point of having fun and meeting people online if you’re putting yourself at risk just by giving too much information?

And there are still some risks of online dating. In fact, cyber stalking is now more common than face-to-face stalking. And this isn’t the normal stalking, ladies (like there’s actually a normal kind, but I’m sure you get my point). This is crazy, “I know where you live and work and do for fun and who you’re friends are” kind of intimate stalking.

I don’t want any of you to give up online dating because you don’t feel safe.

So make sure your online dating profile does not reveal anything that connects to your personal accounts. And make sure that you only give important information, like your number to people you feel you could trust.

Online dating should be fun. Don’t make it dangerous for you!

Go to the right websites

If you just started online dating, I’d suggest to go for niche dating websites to get your feet wet. Like I said in the previous tip, its important for you to feel comfortable. To be able to enjoy the best things online dating could offer, go straight for the websites that cater to your needs.

Nowadays there are many niche dating websites. And because of this, this lessens the possibility of you encountering those who aren’t into you in the first place. For us plus size women, we can join numerous BBW dating sites where we could put ourselves out there and know that the people viewing your profile already do have some sort of interest in you.

This will help you succeed more and lessen the amount of shitty people you have to deal with online.

But if you’re looking into using these websites to feel more comfortable with yourself and eventually going for the mainstream dating sites, go ahead. The more opportunities, the better.

Every meaningful conversation counts

It doesn’t matter if you clicked or not, but as long as the conversation with a person is meaningful, treasure it. You should definitely build a relationship with people online. Whether or not your aim is to find a good lasting relationship or new friends, make sure that you treat everyone with respect especially when they show you respect.

If there’s something good with online dating/relationships, having a profile that lists your likes and dislikes already attracts people who are interested in you. Because of this, this will introduce you to people who may have the same interests as you or would like to get to know you because you seem different.

So if there’s an opportunity to be great friends with someone online, just like a penpal in the good old days, go for it. It’s not wrong to meet friends or people online. Its about being able to learn from people, which in return helps you grow as a person.

There are many ways to succeed in the online dating scene. However, as a plus size woman, the best way to succeed in online dating is by being the best version of yourself. I’m not telling you to change yourself. But I am telling you to accept who you are, and be proud of the things you are good at.

Being the best version of yourself will help you attract the right people to you. And just by jumping into the online dating scene, means that you are ready to meet new people and put yourself out there.

Always remember to be comfortable with who you are, and just like that, you will find the right people to entertain online. Enjoy the world of BBW online dating!

The post 7 Must Know BBW Online Dating Tips appeared first on Cuddle Huddle.