Comments on: What Does It Mean When a Guy Wants to Wait?

By: Juan R.

Juan R. — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 05:34:23 +0000

I have been rejected by women I’ve dated when I said I wanted to wait to establish emotional closeness, trust and communication. In short, I wanted a committed love. Their reply: “I have to test drive a car before I can decide if I like it.” It’s such bull. If you are truly in love, you are going to be an unselfish lover. As a former therapist said to me, that makes me better than 50% of all guys out there. Most girls don’t even get asked what they like. I will. It can only get better from there. Even if I am not as great as the 2nd boyfriend who was a jerk.

By: Randy U.

Randy U. — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 17:08:35 +0000

Keep in mind that according to RAINN and several other groups, 1 in 10 men are sexually assaulted or abused. If men are supposed to love sex at all times, then how come men who are assaulted or abused have such issues with sex. I think our society greatly underestimates the amount of men who have been traumatized. I was sexually taken advantage of by a 17 year old babysitter with I was 12. She forced herself upon me – she forced me to kiss her, touch her, and she touched me. Fortunately nothing else happened, but it was traumatizing. I wasn’t a young male learning the ropes. I was a victim who has never been comfortable having sex with females because I feel they won’t think I am a true man unless I have sex within 3 dates.

By: Bella

Bella — Fri, 20 Nov 2020 04:15:07 +0000

This was all genuinely amazing advice/explanations, really well written, helped me a lot 🙂

By: Dena L Henning

Dena L Henning — Mon, 10 Aug 2020 18:19:01 +0000

Awesome

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 26 Jul 2020 15:31:08 +0000

Funny how as a man if you do want to wait it raises all these questions. I dated a girl a couple years back, it was clear early on was going no where since she was returning to her country so since we had chemistry we/I moved rather fast as the physical attraction was there.

Next girl was the firt one I’d really liked in a long time i.e. years. I found out later she was a ‘first date’ kind of girl, not a vibe she gave out at all. I was pretty much skewered for not being sexually aggressive and wanting to wait. She was actually ‘forced’ to ask me why I hadn’t tried to f*** her yet and I told her the truth; I REALLY liked her, was enjoying the build-up, the making out, the romance/attraction/chemistry and hadn’t wanted to just “f***” on our first ‘date’. To me, as a guy, first date sex is not conducive to a relatioship. Not because I judge her but then it is just two strangers having sex and then hoping whilst they do to create some sort of connection. I much prefer the first time with a woman I really want something with to happen after a few dates when we’ve built up not just a conneciton but anticipation and when, whether it is making love or down and dirty f******, it is because she is her and I am me, not just two strangers body parts.

In any event with this girl at least this did not go over well.

By: Benito

Benito — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 07:57:33 +0000

Regarding the “Skeletons In The Closet” category, please, please keep in mind women these are not all Bible thumpers. It is absolutely amazing to me the amount women (and men) who don’t understand that according to RAINN, 1 in 9 men have been victims of rape, incest or sexual abuse. The truth is that the numbers are worse. Those are just the cases that are reported. In my case, as a 12 year old, I was forced into doing things that I was uncomfortable doing with a high school senior babysitter. Our culture thinks, “Ah, she’s just showing you the ropes young man.” No, it’s sexual abuse. No different than with girls. And I have known men who have experienced far worse things. Outright rape. One friend of mind who was raped by his cousin was told by a major therapist that he should tell any girl by the end of the 3rd date that he was raped, and that she must earn his trust before sex can happen. Make sure she is aware that it applies to ALL women, not just her. That it is a boundary issue to protect himself, and that she is not responsible for “fixing” him. She has to know because most victims of sexual assault are even uncomfortable with basic forms of touch, even if they have been thru counseling. The good news is that most women, in my experience, who are serious about relationships, are willing to wait if a man communicates and is honest. Look, if some woman is going to dump me as a 46 year old man because I don’t engage in sex outside of a committed relationship (not saying I have any issues with holding hands, hugging, kissing or other forms of physical affection that clearly indicates attraction prior to commitment), that’s her problem. The “test drive the vehicle before you buy it” nonsense I think is appropriate for having sex before marriage, but not having sex before you have relationship commitment. One other thing: sexual safety. I knew a couple in college who got pregnant despite her being on the pill and him using a condom. She had an underlying case of the flu that rendered her pill ineffective, and his condom busted. I am happy to report they are married and raising a wonderful daughter. But no sex is truly safe. For me as a male, it would be disappointing to not be able to give oral sex to my woman (if she desires it) because we had not made a commitment to each other and had not gotten tested.