Everyone has misconceptions about people who are different from themselves, so it makes sense that there are so many myths about BBW dating swirling around out there. Some people make fun of it, some people pity us bigger folk and some just downright have no idea what they’re talking about.
Oh, and before we continue, here’s a quick note to all you “normal” sized people out there who assume and perpetuate these myths: don’t presume you know our lives – especially our dating lives.
Just because this false reality exists in your head, it doesn’t mean it’s our reality.
Dating is challenging as is, no matter what size you are, and we certainly don’t need the extra weight of your fat biases heaped on us to drag us down.
So before you repeat some idiotic notion of what dating is like for all people – read through this list of myths about BBW dating. Perhaps it’ll give you an idea of what dating really is like on the other side of the scale. You may even find we’re not so different after all.
Plus size women are insecure
Hold up. Stop right there. Before you go even further with that train of thought, I’d like to ask you one thing: how many women – or people in general – do you know who don’t have insecurities?
Guess what? Insecurities are a fact of life, no matter what size you are or what you look like.
The difference is that plus size women have had what is assumed to be their main insecurity shoved in their faces every day. And that doesn’t make you more insecure – it actually forced you to come to terms with your imperfections and ultimately accept yourself.
As a result, not only are bigger women secure with themselves but we’re pretty damn confident. After all, when you can learn to love and accept yourself in the face constant criticism, how could you not be?
Plus size women can’t get laid
This is just silliness. If you believe this, you need to expand your horizons and get to know people from different walks of life. Or even just try talking to – really talking to, without judgment – your friends and acquaintances.
In doing so, you might learn this little truth about life: people have preferences that span a wide variety. And I mean preferences and not fetishes. And as hard as it might be for some people to believe: yes, there are people that do prefer plus size women. Like there are men who prefer redheads over brunettes, men who prefer tattoos and so on.
Oh, and for those people who assume that big women don’t have a sex drive…umm, we’re people too. I don’t even know why this myth exist in the first place considering most people have a sex drive, it’s just that how much they have depends on the person. Just because you know one plus size woman who isn’t sexually active, it doesn’t mean that applies to all of us.
So don’t assume that BBWs don’t get laid. We don’t have trouble with this.
You need a lot of money to feed a BBW
Wait, what? Just because we’re bigger, it doesn’t mean you have to increase your budget for dates. Not all plus size women are plus size because they eat a lot. It can be because of genetics, hormones or an underlying condition that affects their weight. But don’t assume that you need to constantly feed a BBW in order to make us happy.
What makes us happy is being with someone who understands us and appreciates us for the way we are – kinda like all people. As long as you love us for us, then we’re good. We don’t need a huge food budget to be happy. What we want is love and acceptance. That’s it.
BBW don’t have standards
This is an outright absurd notion that assumes just because a woman is larger than average, she’ll settle for any guy that looks her way. In reality, it’s not easy to pick us up at all.
BBWs are not “easy.” The fact that we go through a lot every day in our fat bias culture makes us acutely aware of the things people think about us. As a result, we can be pretty guarded. But more than that, most of us have had to work through and process the crappy myths – like this one – that are said about us.
And that’s resulted in better self knowledge, which translates to standards. By standards I don’t mean superficial things like money, status and power. Nope. By standards I mean, loving, supportive, and whatever it takes to make a person emotionally compatible with another person.
People develop coping mechanisms in order to survive. Similarly, in the context of dating people create their own set of standards, and BBW are no exception to this concept. So don’t assume that BBWs don’t have standards. Because we do. And even if we haven’t totally figured out who we are (that’s a life long process, I hear), we at least have the standards to keep jerks far away from us.
BBWs don’t care about appearance
People make all sorts of snap judgements based solely on how you look, don’t they? The most common surrounding plus size women? We’re lazy. We don’t take care of ourselves.
This is sheer silliness. Sure, some of us are lazy. What percentage of any population isn’t? But to say because we’re bigger, we don’t take care of ourselves is an obviously inane conclusion to draw. Some of us may prefer to shy away from fashion trends, but we are all women.
We generally care about how we look – not to impress you, but because it feels lovely to be good to ourselves.
As a BBW, we do care about appearance. We care because it affects us the most. Anyone could guess that our biggest insecurity could be our appearance, but we don’t let it limit us.
No one could like us for our looks
If you don’t find us pretty, that’s fine…just don’t assume that because you don’t find us attractive, nobody else will. In fact, there are many people out there who love us for who we are despite our weight. Or what some people call “baggage.”
Being plus size, people think that we need to rely on everything else but our looks. Nope. Some men like and prefer the extra lumps and humps and all that jazz.
So don’t assume that all plus size women, are nice, soft, caring and understanding and that’s all we have going for us. Unfortunately, some of us are just as shitty as skinny people. And there are still interested men because our body types simply work for them.
As you can see, there are so many misconceptions that come with dating plus size women or plus size people in general. But what people don’t understand is that everything is relative.
One size definitely does not fit all. And I don’t mean clothes. I mean in life and love as well. You don’t have to be skinny or plus size to find love. You just have to be able to put yourself out there and know that you deserve love just like any other person around you.