Think rules and regulations should be left out of dating and romance? Well, the do’s and don’ts of BBW dating aren’t about silly restrictions and ridiculous guidelines on who or what to be. Nope, these are simply a collection of experiences big women like myself have gone through and come to an understanding that when practiced, make your dating life so much better – or worse.

Read on for the do’s and don’ts to stick to for smoother dates!

DON’T lie about yourself

When you’re in the dating scene make sure that you don’t put yourself in a position where you are lying about yourself. Just don’t do it.

Don’t dress up like someone you’re not. Especially for us BBWs, don’t try to dress up in the latest skinny girl fashions – unless that’s what you’re into – and don’t try to squeeze yourself into something you think he’ll like.

When you go on a date, don’t let the stuff about what guys like drag you down. And especially don’t let assumptions about big women stand in your way of being your real self.

Let you do you. Accept your curves. Accept your flaws. And let that shine through in a positive light. Doing that will definitely change your dating experience and make it better for you and him.

DO find comfort in every date

I cannot guarantee you that every date will be comfortable. But if you follow number 1, I can at least guarantee you 1 thing… and that’s you being able to be comfortable with yourself. When you’re able to be comfortable in your own company, no matter how awkward the date would go, you’ll be able to find comfort in small things and that takes the edge off.

Being comfortable with yourself automatically translates to self confidence as well, which is always sexy.

DON’T put yourself down

Being a BBW, we get a lot of crap. I’m not saying other people don’t as well, but we’re commonly targeted just because of our outer appearance. And this eventually hits us hard with our inner selves. This is something each and every one of us needs to learn to work through and process.

But if you haven’t reached your happy place yet, at least keep it to yourself, especially on the first date!

And please, don’t assume that just because you haven’t made peace with yourself – others are thinking the same thing. Some people think you look lovely the way you are. And yes, some people don’t – but don’t become their ally by thinking bad things about yourself as well!

So make sure to not put yourself down in any shape or form when you’re feeling insecure or not good enough. Take some mental exercises to get you through if you’re feeling insecure. Because feeling down on yourself is a no-no during a date.

Keep in mind that your date asked you out because he or she found you attractive So ladies, don’t invalidate their feelings because you feel down in the dumps.

DO go out of your comfort zone

Personally I think that not going out of your comfort zone will result in more insecurities. So for us BBW to combat number 3, we should go out of our comfort zones more often. We could do this, by dating a guy we’re interested in, even if we’re the complete opposite of each other.

Or by putting yourself out there even if – especially if – that’s not your usual modus operandi. Proving to yourself that you can results in confidence that goes a long way to making you a more comfortable, happier person on dates and in life.

If you feel like you are not ready to date but you still want to go out there, just approach it one date at a time. I’m sure you’ll build resistance to whatever is holding you back, making you more adventurous and fun in your own way.

DON’T limit yourself

Ever wanted to do something and then automatically stopped yourself by thinking something like…no, I can’t, girls like me never fill-in-the-blank. I know I’ve done this one too many times to myself.

The end result is always the same: nothing. I don’t get to try something new or experience something I might’ve thoroughly enjoyed. And who do I have to blame? No one but myself.

The truth is that society has a lot of misconceptions about fat girls and yes, these assumptions about who we are and the underlying suggestions of what we’re capable of hurt. But just because there are idiotic notions about us still floating around, it doesn’t mean you need to a slave to these dumb ideas.

So free yourself. Talk to that cute guy at the bar who keeps glancing your way. Go take that dance class. And next time that annoying inner voice pops up, tell it to go take a hike.

DO play the field

In line with don’t limit yourself, don’t ever feel like you should limit yourself to one guy when you’re on the dating scene. There’s a difference between being in the dating scene and being exclusive. If you’re in the dating scene, go beyond that one guy rule.

You deserve to have choices. And you shouldn’t settle.

Have you ever heard your mom tell you whenever you introduce a boyfriend to her, “You shouldn’t limit yourself to one guy because your taste in men will change throughout the years.” If you have, then you’ll probably get a good idea of what I mean by play the field.

Play the field and date different men. Not only will you find out which type of guy you’re actually leaning toward, but you’ll also learn more about yourself. And this will help you have a successful relationship in the future by working hard to find someone you are compatible with and not settling.

So get out there and date a variety of people before actually choosing to settle down.

DON’T have high expectations on the first date

Whether we’re BBWs or not, this is our problem time and time again. We set up high expectations for a date before we even meet the person! And please don’t tell me you don’t do that, because as a woman, I know we all do this at one point or another.

Make sure to leave the expectations – both high and low – at home when you’re going out on a date. If you’re dating a student, don’t expect the date to be at a high end restaurant. If he’s rich, don’t expect he’ll spend all his money on a first date. If you’re dating someone skinnier than you, don’t assume your date is only fetish related.

The first date is just a chance for both you and your date to get to know each other…and expectations ruin the pleasure of starting from scratch. So leave those at home.

DO your part

When you’re on a date, please be proactive. Ladies just because he asks you out doesn’t mean you can sit back and let him do everything. A date is a budding relationship. So show that this relationship won’t be one-sided by doing your part.

You could do this by offering suggestions or offer to split the bill. Do your part to show that you’re in this and you’re taking this seriously.

DON’T waste time

When you’re on a date, make sure to make every second count. Because the fact that a person asked you out means they are willing to share their time with you. I know we tend to worry about so many things, but please try to leave your worries at home.

Time is a precious thing. So make sure to make every second count for you and your date by being present in the moment, and not stuck in your head.

DO enjoy yourself

What matters in the end is you enjoying yourself. Dating isn’t supposed to make you feel stressed out, its supposed to make you feel alive. So make sure that you have fun. Whether you’re having a movie date at home with your sweats on, or you’re out for a dinner date.

Just have fun, ladies. You deserve every second of it.

You may have noticed that the Do’s and Don’ts of BBW dating are similar to normal dating Do’s and Don’ts and that’s because in reality, we’re not that different. We want the same things – it’s simply that many of us also have to tune out biases and challenges that are unique to us.

But the essence of dating remains the same, no matter what size you are: be respectful, give people a chance and most importantly, have fun!