From the gay executive dating scammer who is now doing 4 years in prison to the ongoing attempts of various scammers operating profiles across several gay dating sites, there are some risks to gay online dating.
For the most part, online dating is no more dangerous than real-life dating, but daters often forget that the same rules apply. If someone you met in person suddenly started asking you for financial assistance or asked to see some of your bank account information, perhaps a checkbook, or your social security card, you’d grab your wallet and run, no?
The main danger behind gay online dating seems to be a psychological phenomenon in which one of the biggest advantages of online dating – getting to know the person from the inside out – is turned into a disadvantage.
If you’ve been chatting with someone for awhile, it’s pretty easy to start thinking of them as someone you know and are even close to. You’ve already shared such intimate details about yourself and your day-to-day affairs and feelings…isn’t it natural to trust them?
People in this situation often forget that the person whom they’re talking to is still essentially a stranger – someone whom they have no real ties to, such as mutual friends, a common workplace, the same neighborhood, etc.
While this in no way means that all strangers represent danger, it does imply that it’s important to adhere to a few rules when using gay online dating sites.
Take it Slow
If you’ve just met someone you really click with, you’re probably excited at the prospect of meeting him and getting to know him better. The anticipation is awesome, but make sure you don’t rush in too fast.
Take the time to get to know him better through chatting and phone calls. Concentrate on observing personality characteristics about him before meeting in person.
Keep it to Yourself
There are a lot of things you can share about yourself online that will allow you to deeply connect with someone without compromising your security.
You can share your views of the world, the people around you, your insights, wisdom, complaints, you can wax philosophical, comical, and even neurotic. All of this allows you to show your personality without risking your personal information.
There is no reason for anyone you’re talking to online to know your last name, phone number, home address, place of business, school you attend, or any other information that could be used to identify you. The sharing of this information can come later, when you know you can trust this person.
Listen to Your Gut
It’s neither healthy nor fun to play detective with the person you’re getting to know as a romantic interest. While we don’t recommend recording everything he says to see if his story is consistently consistent, it is a good idea to take everything he says with a grain of salt. In the beginning of any romance, you should take what he says half-seriously and what your gut says super-seriously.
This applies even when you first meet up. Make sure you don’t compromise your instincts by drinking too much on the first date – it’s the best opportunity you’re going to have to gauge whether the man you’re talking to is going to be worth seeing again.