Crafting the perfect online dating profile can be tricky. How do you reduce all that you are as a person into a short “About Me” blurb, a few pictures and some responses to questions about your favorite books and hobbies?
Well, the answer is: don’t even try to.
The whole you is something that can’t be reduced to a blurb and it’s not even something people can uncover on the first date. It takes a lifetime to get to know someone…and even then, it’s often not enough.
One of the biggest mistakes people make with online dating is trying to squeeze everything there is about them in a few, short sentences.
We say – don’t even bother. Keep it short, simple, and sweet. Use the advantage of online dating to put your best foot forward. As for the other stuff? Let them find out date after date. It’s more fun that way.
That being said, here are 5 rules you should follow to craft the perfect online dating profile:
Rule #1. Keep it simple, stupid
We all know the KISS rule, yet there are so many online daters violating it like it’s nobody’s business. Nobody wants to read a potential date’s autobiography and there is absolutely no need for a profile that is over 500 words.
Try to keep it short and pithy – max 300 words. Choose your words carefully and include only what is necessary to paint a feeling image of yourself, not your resume.
Rule#2. Be positive
Have you ever read an online profile and clicked “back” with a bad taste in your mouth? Like, you never actually met the person but you already knew they were the type to whine and moan about everything?
Nobody wants to go on a date with that Debbie Downer.
Even in a brief, 300-word profile that are aspects of personality that immediately transfer to the reader. Depending on the language that you use to express yourself, people can pick up on traits like bossiness, aggression, desperation, and meanness.
Keep your language and tone aspiration, positive, and optimistic. Talk about your hopes, dreams and passions and keep the tone light and conversational.
Tip: Spend a few moments thinking about things that make you really happy and then proceed to write your online profile – with a smile on your face. The feeling will transfer.
Rule #3. Photos are key
Men are visual creatures. That doesn’t mean they don’t care what you have to say write, it just means they like the photos too.
Choose amazing photos. Use photos in which you’re laughing, use photos that show your personality, use photos in which you’re caught in a moment.
Do not use CV photos – you know the ones with some muted color background and you sitting with a bright-eyed-and-fluffy-tailed smile plastered on your face.
Rule #4. Downplay your accomplishments
This one might rub some of you the wrong way, but we’re not suggesting you hide it forever. It’s awesome that you’ve done amazing things, but keep your resume out of the online dating game, at least in the beginning.
Mentioning that you won a Pulitzer or started and run 15 businesses might be a bit too much – until they get to see you and know you as a person. Then, your accomplishments will become awesome – a part of you.
But until then, you first. Accomplishments second.
Rule #5. Maintain psychological distance
Ending your profile with a description of the perfect man and a hopeful, “Is this you?” is cute but a tad too much. So is sending an email back right away (try to wait at least 20 hours) or sending messages during normal sleeping hours.
Maintaining a little distance is not akin to playing hard-to-get – it’s more letting the other person know that you’re a normal, psychologically sounds person (which when dating online, people are naturally wary of). It gives them a sense that you very much have your own life and are interested in dating, but you’re not hanging around online all the time.
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