Dating a chubby girl for the first time? You’ve come to the right place. There are a billion dating tips scattered throughout the Internet but as important as the things you should do are the things you should not do, especially when dating a BBW for the very first time.
Let’s illustrate a scenario: After seeing your college girlfriend after a couple of years or so, and you notice that she’s gone soft around the edges. What would a decent person say?
A: “Hey! How are you?
B: “There’s this great new diet I’m trying. Maybe you should try it with me?”
In life there’s such a thing called a filter, and its essential to use it as you speak. Just like in dating, there are certain things you have to watch out for if you want things to go smoothly.
So here are some things you should definitely NOT do when dating a BBW!
Don’t fetishize your BBW
Okay, if you fetishize us, you’re immediately out. There is no faster way to fall out of favor with the woman you fancy than by making her feel like she falls under a category among fetishes.
It’s one thing to appreciate her body but keep in mind that she’s a human being with feelings. She has a lot to offer so don’t go objectifying her and making her feel like she’s only good for your sexual desires just because she looks a certain way.
And don’t bother looking into dating a BBW woman when all you want to do is to fulfill your fetish FATASY. See what I did there? It’s a waste of our time.
So bye Felicia. We deserve a man who loves us for who we are and thats both our looks and personality.
She’s not your dirty secret
Don’t ever make your BBW feel like your not so little dirty secret. I don’t know why a person would do that in the first place but the fact that you’re dating us on your accord, it’s your responsibility to make sure we feel comfortable and happy. That includes introducing us to your friends and family.
If you don’t plan to introduce us to them just because most of them are skinny bastards that won’t understand why you decided to date a plus size lady then bye. I’m sorry but we don’t want to deal with men who aren’t proud of us.
And yes we do deserve to be appreciated like every other woman out there, plus size or not.
What’s the point of comparison?
Why would you fall for a plus size woman and then waste your time comparing her to other women in the first place? Why did you date her in the first place when you have a completely different image in your head? Please don’t. Please don’t make us feel like we’re not good enough by comparing us to other women.
The moment you start comparing us for not being like other women, you’re not pointing out something that’s wrong with us – you’re pointing out that there’s something seriously wrong with you. Get over your insecurities and learn to accept what you’re attracted to or don’t waste our time asking us out.
Leave the weight talk out of it
Don’t talk to us about our weight or trying to get healthy. Because we know, we hear it all the time from well-intentioned co-workers, family and friends. We know our “flaws” more than anyone out there. So please don’t make it your life mission to change my size. There’s a reason why I’m still plus size in the first place.
Just because we’re plus size doesn’t mean we eat a lot, we don’t exercise and we don’t care about our appearances and if you buy into these insidious myths about plus size woman – maybe you shouldn’t be dating one.
Don’t assume as well that plus size women can’t be anorexic or bulimic. Remember that not everyone embodies their eating disorders. You don’t know what you don’t know so don’t use our date time to air your assumptions about our weight.
And keep in mind that for many of us, our weight is our biggest insecurity. But we don’t let our weight define us. That’s not for you to fix. It’s for us to conquer. So if you love and care for us, please just focus on that.
We’re not all huge food lovers
Uhm what? Just because we’re bigger means we love food? Just because we’re bigger we love to cook? Honey please, there are some skinny women out there who are excellent cooks but have smaller figures. And just like the opposite, there are bigger women out there who just aren’t all that interested in food. That’s actually possible even for people like us. So please don’t assume that just because we’re big we’re all about the food.
If you love food, we are more than willing to support you and your mission to discover great tasting food, however don’t expect that all BBWs are all about the food, because not all of us are and I’m sorry for bursting your bubble.
We do notice how you treat us
An offshoot of the common fat myth that bigger woman don’t take care of themselves is the assumption that because we apparently don’t care about ourselves, we won’t care how you treat us. Which means we make the most low maintenance dates ever!
I’m sorry but if you’re planning to date us because you think that we’re easier to maintain then you’re out. Don’t ever think that you could get away with just mediocre gestures or words to make us happy.
If you want to last with a BBW, you do need to show that you care by demonstrating effort and investment. We are, after all, women, and we’re looking for more than mediocre dates and tawdry relationship tricks. Appreciation is the name of the game. So the moment we catch a whiff of whatever you’re planning or lack of planning, we’re out.
Big girls are tough
There are some men out there – although the title “men” may not apply to these folk – who think that because BBW are bigger, they don’t need the chivalrous “protection” of men. As in, we don’t deserve to be treated like the ladies we are simply because we’re bigger than your average gal.
Well, you’re right about one thing: most of us are damn tough. The fact that we have to go through society’s microscope every single day makes us either upset AF or tough AF. Either way, experience has helped us to smell jerks from a mile away. A skill we learned from dealing with assholes and bitches all our lives.
But just ’cause we can take care of ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we don’t like to be wooed and to feel like our man wants to be there for us. If you can’t demonstrate that we matter to you enough for you to be a gentleman, we’re definitely looking somewhere else.