Wondering how to emotionally connect with a man? Good question. In fact, it’s probably the smartest question considering that the way to a man’s heart is, well, through his heart.
So building emotional connection is the wisest way to go.
After all, in order for a relationship to work, you need to build a lasting connection between two people. And the cornerstone for that is there a deep emotional connection, an intimacy that differs from physical attraction.
It’s generally considered true that it’s easier to tell if a woman is emotionally invested, just as it’s easier for a woman to become emotionally connected to someone.
So how do you tell if you’re emotionally connected with a man, and perhaps more importantly if you’re really into him, how can you develop that emotional connection?
Given that emotional attraction is what separates a fling from the deep commitment that keeps him coming back to you and doing whatever he can for you, it’s an important part of any lasting relationship.
Here are 12 simple tips that can help you build and solidify that emotional connection!
Men want to be with someone who values themselves, and who sees themselves as a catch. That means a key part of building an emotional connection with a man is first being confident and secure in your own sense of self.
Stand up for what you believe in. Do the things that are important to you. This confidence and positive self-esteem is incredibly attractive, and helps him see you as a more desirable part of his life.
And as a confident and secure woman, you can help him feel similarly about himself. When he does something great, let him know! Everyone loves to hear when they’re doing something well, and this is no different in a relationship.
Even better, affirmations are incredibly addictive. When he knows he can count on you to praise him when he does well, he’s more likely to seek that praise in the future, meaning he’s more likely to put more effort into the relationship.
Express your desires
Let him know the things you want. This can be physical (it’s important he knows what works for you, because there’s nothing hotter to a man than seeing his woman enjoy sex) or it can be emotional — intimacy is something that needs to be developed through communication.
Let him know what you need, and he’ll be more likely to do the same with you, which helps build emotional connection between you and helps give the relationship staying power.
Share your stories
When you let him in to your life, it’s a sign that you consider him safe and trustworthy, which also helps put him at ease, making him more likely to share his stories with you.
And this means both the lighthearted stuff and the serious stuff — what you’ve gone through in your life is a huge part of who you are today, and sharing those experiences with him can help him understand you, and as such, can help him connect with you.
Ask about his stories
Part of sharing your stories is creating a safe space for him to share his past. You don’t have to poke and prod him here. Instead, be gentle in asking questions, and more than anything, work on creating an environment where he knows he can always talk to you about anything.
In that setting, he’s far more likely to open up to you in the future. This isn’t something you can rush; instead, keep in mind that in the best and strongest relationships, partners spend their entire lives learning each other on progressively deeper levels.
Keep a safe space, and you may be surprised at how well you come to know and understand each other in time.
This doesn’t mean turning a blind eye when he does something stupid, or giving him permission to cheat on you. What it does mean, though, is that you work on accepting him for who he is, supporting him, and being there for him.
The little stuff, like forgetting to close a kitchen drawer or leaving his toothbrush out? Not really important. (And besides, it may be something you can work through with him when you have gained his trust and an emotional connection, because it will be something he’ll want to do for you.)
Instead, focus on the big picture and loving him for who he is.
When you say thank you or let him know the things you appreciate, that makes him feel good about doing them. Let him know the things he does that you’re grateful for, and do so on a regular basis, both as they’re done and as you think of them later.
When you thank him, he knows you appreciate his role in your life, and this helps him connect with you.
This is, for many couples, one of the hardest parts of building a strong relationship. Knowing how to emotionally connect with a man is one thing – but maintaining the connection is just as important and nowhere is this more challenging than when you’re both upset and angry with each other.
Look, you’re going to have fights or disagreements if you stay together long enough. Learning how to stay calm, display emotional stability and maturity, and work through it is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
Fighting dirty to gain an upper hand in the moment with statements like “that’s why your ex left you!” isn’t going to help either of you long-term, and will make it next to impossible to build trust, empathy, and the emotional intimacy the strongest relationships rely on, so really focus on fighting fair when conflicts do arise.
Share the things you’re interested in and that make your brain work, and he’ll be far more likely to do the same. When couples connect on an intellectual level, the emotional side is far, far more likely.
So talk about current events. Talk about policy. Talk about science. Talk about religion.
Talk about the things that are important to you and stretch you as a person, and he’ll be far more likely to do the same with you — which is a sign that he respects and trusts you enough to want to hear your opinion as he forms or reforms his own.
Make sex special
For many men, whether they can admit it or not, emotional intimacy is connected to physical intimacy. When you make it clear through touch that you think he is special, that helps draw him close to you.
And this is true of all touch, not just sex: How he connects to you physically affects how he connects with you emotionally.
When he needs someone, be there for him. When things aren’t going elsewhere in his life, have his back. When he needs a sounding board, listen.
Being there for him with regularity and consistently helps build his trust in you, and helps him develop an emotional connection with you.
Be his safety net
And beyond just being there, help him know that with you he’s safe. You’re there to love him for who he is, to always have his back, to help him live his best life. You’re there to help him feel better, and you share an emotional bond with him.
These tips aren’t always easy. In fact, some of them (like fighting fair) can take a tremendous amount of work. Learning to apply them in your relationship, however, can help it move from a casual fling to something that has real staying power and can sit at the center of both your lives.
Emotional intimacy is key for a strong relationship, and the twelve tips above can help you build that with the special man in your life.