You’ve finally jumped aboard the online dating ship and are ready to start attracting some fantastic dates…welcome aboard!
The Internet gives you access to a wider area of partner possibilities – seriously, across the entire globe – and instantly increases your chances of finding someone you just click with than, say, your small town of 20,000 people.
At the same time, no dating site can help you find the right mate if you don’t give off the right signals. As in real life, first impressions are everything on the Internet. Especially with the plethora of other profiles competing for every user’s attention.
This makes your dating profile the single most determining factor of your online dating success. You want to be catchy, you want to be memorable, you want to be you.
Here’s how, in 5 simple steps.
Ditch the Resume for a Story
It’s who you are that matters, not what you do.
What grabs your attention more?
Example #1: After 9 years of working in corporate marketing, I’ve recently moved (with a promotion 🙂 ) to *enter city here* to manage the *enter region here* market.
I truly enjoy my job and am blessed to be where I am, but it does keep me extremely busy and I don’t have much time to date.
Still I keep myself busy by traveling, hiking, and volunteering on weekends and holidays. My life is full and wonderful and I am looking for a sincere, active, and funny woman to enjoy it with.
Example #2: Sometimes life aims a curve ball straight at your stomach when you’re least expecting it. I got hit last week. As I clambered up a new found hiking path, lost in reverie, I stumbled onto the domain of the biggest bear I’d ever seen…and I was seeing it way too close.
His (hers?) back was turned toward me and as she went on doing his (her?) thing, I busied myself with watching my entire life pass before my eyes. And even in my petrification, I could tell it was a good life – full of visions of hiking trails I’d meandered through, destination I’d ‘discovered,’ work that I’m excited to wake up for in the morning…but something was missing…a woman – the woman – to enjoy all the adventures of life with. Well, perhaps not this particular one.
I wish I could say I made a heroic escape full of acrobatic finesse, but the bear simply…moved on. But my epiphany hasn’t left me. So, here I am, looking for another fateful encounter.
Although, with someone perhaps, a bit less…furry.
Example #1 or #2…who would you message?
Keep It Simple, Stupid – the beauty of this acronym is that it can be applied to oh so many aspects of life and online dating is no exception.
Yes, your life, hobbies, interests, experiences may be full – your cup runneth over – but no one needs to read the autobiography of your life.
If your current profile reads like a Wikipedia page of your life, boil it down to the bits and pieces that speak to your personality AND are interesting to read.
That means – eliminate the lists of the characteristics you’ve had, the accomplishments you’ve racked up, the laundry list of qualities you are looking for in a mate and instead focus on making the reader feel who you are in a few simple sentences.
The best advertisers know this: simplicity and feeling are key in attracting an audience. Paint a mental picture of what you’re passionate about or a instance in your life. Make him or her feel.
Don’t let the past dominate
Your background and history play a part in making you you, but there’s no need for it to make an appearance in your dating profile. You’re looking for someone who wants to date you as you are now, not then.
If you’re a single parent, mention it (once). If you’re recently divorced, work it into a sentence (once).
Take a moment to observe and appreciate your life and yourself now and then write from there.
Picture your ideal mate
Got the image in your head? All the characteristics? Good. Now keep it to yourself.
There is no reason in the world why anyone should go through the tediousness of describing every characteristic they want their ideal mate to have in a dating profile. It’s not a grocery list.
Instead, focus on what qualities your ideal mate would be attracted to. Is your ideal mate creative? Make your profile creative. Is he athletic? Make it a point to mention your own enthusiasm for an active lifestyle. Is she funny? Write a profile that’d make anyone laugh.
Pretend you are writing directly to the ideal mate you hold in your mind.
Make a list of your turn-offs
Got it? Good. And again, keep it to yourself.
Most people have a pretty clear idea of what doesn’t work for them, but there’s no reason to mention characteristics that you detest on your online dating profile.
It’s simply redundant: Nobody likes cheaters. People generally don’t care too much for liars either. Gold diggers? Also not popular.
But since you already have the list of your turn-offs and deal-breakers, make use of it. Every characteristic has an opposite, so concentrate on appealing to the exact opposite of the people who turn you off. Design your profile accordingly.
Now go out there are get yourself a date!