Ex Came Back After Rebound: Should You Take Her Back?

ex came back after rebound

Your ex came back after rebound and you want to know: should you take her back?

That’s a loaded question, and we’re going to have to answer a few other questions to help you decide whether or not you should take your ex back after they have a rebound relationship.

Let’s look at each question individually to help you decide whether the second time around might work better than the first, or if maybe she just isn’t right for you.

Who broke up with who?

Did you break up with her, or did she break up with you? The power dynamic here can make a major difference. For instance, if you broke up with her, you probably had a good reason for doing so, right? Whereas if she broke up with you, you may or may not know her reasons for doing so, and those reasons can be quite important.

For instance, maybe she’s since realized over the course of her rebound relationship that her reasons for breaking up with you weren’t good enough, and that while the two of you may have things to work on, you’re good together. That would be a good reason to consider taking her back.

But on the flip side, maybe she broke up with you because she didn’t see a future with you, and she’s only coming back to you because her rebound wasn’t any better, and sometimes a known commodity is better than the unknown, even if that known commodity (your relationship) maybe wasn’t ever that great.

For the rest of this discussion, we’re going to assume that she broke up with you, because if you broke up with her, you know exactly why, and whether or not those reasons still apply to your past—and potential future—relationship.

Why did you break up in the first place? (And was there ever any cheating?)

So yes, the reasons you originally broke up are incredibly important here. More than anything else, those reasons—the real reasons, which are not always the same as the given reasons at the time of your breakup—are incredibly important.

Often times when people are in relationships and things start to get serious, they get scared. Sometimes that’s a reason people break up—even if it isn’t the reason they give.

Other times there are personal issues (depression, for instance, or anxiety) that she might not have been willing to share with you, and as a result, when things got hard, she may have felt the need to break up to protect you from those things, rather than trust that she could share them with you.

These are pretty common reasons for breaking up, and yet, they are rarely the reason given. As a result, any talk of getting back together needs to include plenty of hard honest conversations about why you broke up, what was wrong in the original relationship, and how you might address those issues in the future—together.

One final caveat here: If there was ever any cheating involved, you need to think very hard about why, and whether that trust can be regained.

Similarly, if the rebound happened shortly enough after your breakup, you need to consider whether or not she already had her rebound lined up when she was breaking up with you—which brings us to our next consideration:

How much time passed between your breakup and their rebound?

This is where math and some emotional calculus comes into play. For some people, jumping into a rebound a month after a breakup can be completely fine, and not at all reflective of their relationship prior to the breakup.

For others, jumping into a rebound even six months after the breakup can be a sign that they were already pulling away emotionally and looking for another relationship at the end of your relationship. So you have to trust your gut a little bit here.

For instance, was her rebound with a guy at work that she had been pretty chummy with while you were still together? That should set your spidey senses tingling.

Or had she been going out with her girlfriends pretty regularly after you split to help ease her heartbreak and just happened to fall into a rebound with someone she met while out?

The circumstances and timing matter, because they help determine whether or not the two of you will be able to fully trust each other again if you get back together. Which is really one of the biggest pieces when you consider if you should get back with an ex after a rebound: Is there hope for a future if you do?

Which brings me to my next question…

Have you moved past your original issues? And what are your goals in getting back together?

Look, if you can’t grow together from the experience, and learn from your first breakup, then there isn’t going to be any point in getting back together.

Without learning from the experience, you’re going to be doomed to repeat the same mistakes and hurt each other in the same ways, except only worse, because it will be compounded by the trauma of your first failed relationship.

So you have to be able to give each other a fresh start, move past your original issues, and truly trust each other. If the time apart doesn’t serve as a reminder to really practice your communication with each other, then there is no point in getting back together.

Similarly, you need to have some real talk when it comes to the future you see with each other. If you’re talking about going from exes to friends with benefits, that’s one thing (though still fraught with potential emotional peril), but going from exes to a couple again is hard, and you shouldn’t unless you have the same long-term potential future in mind.

Ask yourselves the big questions. Could you see yourself marrying her? Can she see herself marrying you? This doesn’t mean you have to get engaged—in fact, you probably shouldn’t until you’re both well on your way to having those original issues fully worked out—just that you need to be serious about your ideas for the future.

If you haven’t talked about whether or not you want kids in your future, this is a good time to at least broach that topic. Again, this isn’t where you pick kids’ names—but it is a reminder that if you want kids and she doesn’t, or vice-versa, you probably shouldn’t get back together, because heartbreak is the only future those kind of big picture issues bring.

So have the hard conversations. You have to be fully honest with each other if this is going to work.

Why did they end things with their rebound guy?

Lastly, you have to look at why they split with their rebound, as not fun as that may be. Did they split because that relationship wasn’t fun anymore, because their rebound saw one of their less than ideal sides, or because they realized they wanted what they had with you?

The reasons for leaving their rebound matter, because sometimes people leave a rebound as soon as it stops being fresh and fun, rather than because they know what they want and the rebound isn’t it.

So if your ex split with her rebound because she wasn’t having fun and was bored, that can be a sign that she’s coming back to you because she’s comfortable with you and knows what to expect with you. That isn’t necessarily a good sign.

If she split with her rebound, though, because she realized you were the long-term future she wants, that’s a whole different story. So figure out what happened, and why she’s really coming back to you wanting to get back together now.

There may be other questions you need to ask, too, and no matter what, you are going to have to both be willing to have hard conversations if your second go-round is going to work out better than the first. The questions above, though, are a great start to figuring out whether or not you should give it a go.

Good luck!

Why You Should Let Him Come to You After a Break Up (And How to Do It)

let him come to you after a break up

You’ve probably heard the line that you should let him come to you after a break up. But why? And how exactly do you go about doing that?

Can we be frank? Sure we can; we’re all friends here.

A less shared but still no less true truth: Most men are idiots. No, really, we are not smart. And this is especially true when it comes to emotional intelligence, our feelings, and relationships.

The truth is, plenty of men have no idea what they want until they’ve had it and then lost it because they screwed things up. We’re so-so at best when it comes to learning from our mistakes—but there’s no way we’re learning anything important until after we’ve made those mistakes, either.

That is, there’s pretty much no hope of us meeting the woman of our dreams until we’ve already met her and screwed it up. Sad? Definitely. Pathetic? Certainly. But no less true.

So if your ex has broken your heart, and you’re trying to figure out how to get him back, the truth is the worst thing you can do is chase him.

When you chase a guy, what it tells us is you’re needy, that you’re dependent on us, and that we were right to run away. When you chase us, it’s a confirmation to us that we made the right move in ending things, and that wow, did we dodge a bullet back there.

Instead, if you want things to work between you, the best thing you can do is give him space and let him realize on his own time and terms what an idiot he was for breaking up with you.

Now, to be fair, there are no guarantees he’ll ever be smart enough to realize he is said idiot, much less realize he needs to win you back. But if there’s to be a hope of future between the two of you, that’s the way it has to play out. You have to let him come to you after a break up.

So what should you do if that’s the way you want it to go? What should you do if you want your ex to realize what an idiot he is, and for him to come chasing after you to try and win you back?

Check out these key steps to letting him come back to you…

1. Realize that a successful relationship is like a chemical drug addiction

Now by that I don’t mean that a successful relationship makes the two of you dependent on each other, nor is it unhealthy. But successful relationships do connect with endorphins and dopamine and serotonin and other brain chemicals to give you a natural high and make you feel better about life, which is a pretty addicting feeling.

And when you and your ex split, you may have both gone through withdrawal. You may have both been a bit depressed, lethargic, and just generally sad.

All of that is natural, and easily explained by the loss of the euphoria you each felt when things were going well in your relationship.

This, too, makes sense: Love really is like an addiction, and our brain responds to love similarly.

If there are ways you can help prime your ex to think about how much he misses those euphoric feelings he experienced with you, subtly, then all the better.

Just remember, if this is going to work, you can’t appear as if you’re chasing him, so it’s best if mutual friends you are interested in seeing the two of you back together are the ones reminding him of how happy he was with you and giving him other subtle nudges back toward you.

2. Remember he likely already misses you

There’s a solid 80-90% chance that if you’re missing him, he’s also missing you.

It is incredibly common for people just out of a relationship to feel like they’re obsessing over what they’ve just lost, so if you’re feeling like you just can’t stop thinking about him, there’s an incredibly good chance he’s feeling like he just can’t stop thinking about you, either.

Now, there’s no guarantees as to what he’s thinking, and that’s why having those mutual friends in step one to steer his thoughts back toward the good times he had with you are so important.

This is true even if he’s just jumped straight into a rebound relationship. Often times guys will do that because they think it will help keep them from feeling the pain of missing you, or will help them replace you, but just as often (especially if the two of you had something incredible) it only serves as a reminder of what he’s missing.

3. And because he misses you, he’s going to keep tabs on what you’re up to

Look, we’ve all done it. We’ve Facebook or Instagram stalked an ex to see what they’re up to, hoping they’re miserable without us in their lives. And if they’re not, we end up a bit upset or frustrated that they’ve seemingly been able to move on without us, right?

So if you find yourself checking his social media on a regular basis, odds are good he’s doing the same to keep tabs on you.

He misses you—even as he’s afraid you’ll be happy without him.

4. So use that to your advantage

Show him exactly how awesome you are, as if he’s had a chance to forget. Don’t mope, no matter how badly you want to. Instead, make him miss you even more.

Think back to what were the best parts of your relationship. What were the pieces that made the two of you happiest? I don’t mean just the good sex; I mean the little things that were so uniquely the two of you.

Maybe the two of you really enjoyed kayaking together on a quiet alpine lake. Or maybe you went to some really great rock concerts. Whatever it is, use those pieces to your advantage to help remind him of what he’s missing.

Again, it’s important that you’re subtle here. Remember, if he knows you’re trying to get him back, he’s likely to read that as needy, which is in turn more likely to push him away.

If you’re genuinely able to project happiness by yourself or with some girlfriends, especially in the places and settings that the two of you were happiest, he’s more likely to remember the amazing girl he’s given up—and realize what a terrible mistake he’s made.

So use your social media to leave bread crumbs and clues. He may well be too daft to pick up on it, but if he isn’t, he’s going to see those bread crumbs, remember how amazing your time together was in those shared special places, and realize he was an idiot to throw it away.

And that, in turn, makes him more likely to come back after you.

This is especially true if you broke up with him, but can also work if he broke up with you. The truth is, you want your social media to make it clear how awesome and independent you are, not that you are missing him and need him back in your life.

5. By displaying independence

I mean it. Do your thing with your girlfriends. Be happy without him (even if on the inside you’re missing him terribly.) And above all else, do not contact him.

Contacting him is going to be interpreted as a sign of neediness, regardless of why you reach out to him. If for some reason you absolutely have to get in touch with him (like, say, some of your stuff you need is still at his place), do so through a mutual friend, as if you’re too busy living your awesome life to reach out to him yourself. (And consider that leaving a few things that were still at his place when you split there will serve as reminders to him when he sees them of what he’s given up.)

You need to be strong. I know, this is incredibly difficult. We’ve all had those breakups where we lost our mind and called our ex a million times about how much we missed them and how we still loved them, or at the very least have had a friend go that route. Don’t do it.

That’s what crazy people do, and no one wants to get back with their crazy ex. As hard as it may be, be strong.

6. By being your best possible self

Were there things you wanted to do but never did while you were together, like training for a marathon or taking dance lessons or learning how to play an instrument? Well now is the perfect time to do those things.

Getting good at something you wanted to do while you were together but never took the time to invest in is a pretty clear sign to your ex that you’re even better than he remembers.

Additionally, it sends the subtle sign to him (even if it may be inaccurate) that you’re not bothered by the split, and that you’re even more badass than he remembers.

Make him miss you by being even more incredible than he remembers.

7. By being happy with other people

Even if it isn’t completely accurate, let him see you happy with other people. That’s going to remind him of how much he liked making you happy, and is going to help him miss you even more.

8. By letting him chase on you on his terms

This is where it can be tempting to reach back out, especially as you start putting yourself back together by spending time with your friends and in the pursuits you didn’t have time for while the two of you were together.

You might be feeling better about things and be tempted to reach back out to him, but be warned: Doing so can backfire badly.

Instead, you need to be strong enough to know that if he’s the right guy for you, he will eventually realize what a dumbass he’s been and come back after you. He needs to reach out to you first, because that puts you in a position of strength.

As stupid as these games are, most guys will see you as needy if you reach back out to them first. So don’t. Wait for him to miss you and reach out to you.

There are a couple of signs you can watch for, too, while you wait for him to chase you.

For instance:

  • Does he drunk dial you?
  • Does he text you about nothing in particular, or to simply ask how you are?
  • Does he show up in places you and your friends go?
  • Does he ask mutual friends about you?

All of those are signs he’s still got you heavily on his brain. You do your thing and just watch: If he’s smart, he’ll come chasing back after you before you know it.

So don’t chase him. Let him come to you after a break up on his terms, and you may surprised just how much better your relationship can be the second time around after he realizes just how much he was missing out when the two of you were split.

5 Signs Your Ex Is In a Rebound Relationship

signs your ex is in a rebound relationship

So your ex has left you with a broken heart, and to make matters worse, he’s already with someone else. You’re still heartbroken, so how is it even possible that he’s already moved on?

Here’s the thing: Odds are good he hasn’t.

Instead, it’s quite likely he’s thrown himself into a rebound relationship, because a superficial relationship with someone else is easier for him than dealing with his feelings for you.

This may well be the case – or even especially the case, for some guys – if he can’t help telling everyone how great this new relationship is, if she’s completely different from you, and he’s putting in effort with her that he just didn’t with you.

All of those can be signs that he’s struggling to process his relationship with you. Or, in other words, that he’s rebounding.

But if you want to be sure, check out these five sure signs that he might not yet be as over you as he says, and that his new relationship is simply a rebound, his way of refusing to deal with his feelings for you.

Speed Dating, Anyone?

Do some math here: Did he jump right into dating someone else immediately after you two broke up? One rule of thumb for how long it takes to get over someone is a week for every month you were together.

A caveat there is that everyone processes at different rates, but if you were together for a year, and he’s dating someone else within a week, that’s clearly a rebound.

No one can move on that quickly, not without simply avoiding their feelings. Yes, some people can process more quickly than others, but think about your ex: You know him better than that. Was he someone that needed time to process difficult or emotional things?

If so, then jumping directly into a new relationship is a pretty clear sign that he hasn’t gotten over you yet. Instead, he’s simply trying not to think about you with his new rebound relationship.

One final caveat here: This may not apply to cheaters. If he cheated on you, this isn’t the article for you. Admit you’re better off without a cheating sack of shit in your life, and move on.

How Long Has She Been Around?

Not only is it important to note how long he waited before jumping into a new relationship, it’s also important to note how long he’s been with the new girl. If it’s been more than a few months, there’s a chance it isn’t just a rebound.

But, keeping in mind that studies estimate more than 65% of rebound relationships fail in the first six months, the less time they’ve been together, the more likely it is that it’s simply a rebound, his way of avoiding dealing with his feelings about and for you.

Look, most guys are really not good at dealing with their feelings. Rebound relationships give us a chance to avoid dealing with our feelings by replacing those feelings (sadness, loss, grief) with more fun feelings (mostly sex, to be honest).

If we haven’t been with the new girl for very long, and we jumped into the rebound straight out of our break-up? You can guess with fair certainty that we’re still thinking about you…possibly even as we’re sleeping with the new girl.

How Different Is She?

This is one of the big flashing signs that your ex is in a rebound relationship: How different is the new girl from you?

If she’s completely different, that’s a pretty good sign that he’s simply not over you. Call it overcompensating.

The truth is, he’s still grieving the loss of you, even if he won’t admit it, which is why he doesn’t want to be with someone like you right now. The less like you the new girl is, the less likely it is that she’ll remind him of you – which means the less he’ll be tempted to think about you, or so he hopes.

As a result, he overcompensates for losing you by dating the exact opposite of you. After all, if things didn’t work with you, they’ll work with the exact opposite kind of person, right?

The truth is, if he was with you for a long time, it’s because the two of you worked, and had a special connection.

Most often if he’s with someone completely different, it’s because he’s trying not to process his relationship with you. This is a pretty clear sign he still has feelings for you, and is simply running away from those feelings to his rebound.

How Quickly Is He Moving With Her?

This might be the biggest sign of all: The faster he’s moving with her, the more sure you can be that he’s in a rebound.

Remember what I said about most guys not being very good at processing their feelings? This is somewhere where that holds especially true. If he’s still stuck on you – even if he’s not wholly conscious of that fact – he’s more likely to move things quickly with the new girl.

So if he’s super serious about her and they’ve been together two weeks? That’s a pretty good sign his heart is still torn, and he’s throwing himself wholly into this new relationship to avoid thinking about his feelings for you, by transferring those feelings onto the new girl.

I mean, think about it. How well can he really even know the new girl if they’ve been together a couple of weeks? But rather than admit that, and take his time getting to know her, he’s taking his fully developed feelings toward you and transferring them to the new girl.

He’s trying to take the intimacy, comfort, and happiness he had with you at your relationship’s best and force it into the center of this new relationship, because that fills the emotional black hole where you are in his heart.

That’s the whole point of a rebound: He’s trying to get over the pain of losing you, and what the two of you had. And the harder you see him pushing the new relationship, the more sure you can be that he’s really struggling with the loss of you in his life.

For many guys, the pain of a breakup is simply more than they’re willing to do the work of pushing through and processing. As a result, they panic, consciously or not, and try to force intimacy and support elsewhere to replace what they’ve just lost.

So if he can push the new relationship forward quickly, that’s his way of trying to both decrease the pain he is feeling and replace the intimacy and emotional connection he’s lost.

It’s the same reason you might see him spending all of his time with the new girl: Because when he is alone he has an opportunity to realize what he’s just lost, and feel the connection he’s lost with you, and he doesn’t want to have that processing time, because it’s painful, and he doesn’t like that.

He can’t replace the time he spent with you in a few short weeks with someone new – but that doesn’t mean he might not try.

So if you see him escalating the new relationship, that’s a pretty clear sign that he’s not letting it progress naturally, because he’s still hung up on you, and that’s a real good sign that it’s a rebound, and not something more meaningful, no matter how much he might say otherwise.

How Is He Toward You?

Similarly, watch how he acts toward you. If he goes out of his way to tell you how happy he is, rubbing the new relationship in your face, that’s a pretty clear sign he still very much cares what you think.

He’s hurt by the loss of you in his life, and he’s taking that pain out on you by trying to hurt you back with this new relationship.

Think about it: If he was really over you, would he really care whether or not you knew he was in a new relationship? No! He’d be busy trying to emotionally connect and grow with his new girlfriend. The fact that he’s going out of his way to tell you about it means that he still has feelings for you.

On the flip side, if he seems to be hiding the new girl from you, it’s time to look at how your relationship together was. First, he could be hiding the new girl in the hopes that he still has a chance of getting back together with you. (If that’s the case, she’s a definite rebound.)

Second, though, he could be trying to avoid drama. If there was crazy drama between you previously, this is a fair bet.

So think about how the two of you worked, and how he’s acting toward you. Is he trying to make you jealous? It’s a rebound. Is he trying to get back together with you? It’s a rebound. Is he simply trying to avoid drama? It might not be a rebound.

If your ex is exhibiting more than a few of those five signs, though, you can be pretty sure that he’s not really over you – at which point you need to decide how you feel about that.

Do you want your ex back? Sometimes if things haven’t worked between you, that’s for the better. Try to be coolly rational here, as well as trusting your heart. Is he a long-term potential future, or was he simply a good thing while it lasted?

If you decide you do want him back, you need to make a plan; simply sitting on the sidelines isn’t going to get him back. While you make that plan, though, you can take comfort in the fact that he’s in a rebound relationship – because he’s pretty clearly not over you yet.

Why Does My Ex Still Want to Sleep With Me?

why-does-my-ex-still-want-to-sleep-with-me

After a breakup, it’s rare for most people that they never see their ex again. After all, in your time together you likely shared interests, friends, and favorite spots.

You still have your ex’s phone number, email, and depending on how long you’ve been broken up, maybe even their spare key – and they can say the same about you.

And, if you were together for some time, there were clearly reasons that things worked between you, often including physical chemistry.

So it’s pretty natural that you might want to still sleep with them, or even more likely, that they might sill want to sleep with you. Breaking up doesn’t have to mean abstinence, and for many men, they’d very much prefer it didn’t – so if your ex is still trying to sleep with you, you’re hardly the first.

But why?

After all, one common school of thought after breakups says that you should make a clean break from each other, so you each have a chance to get your hearts and lives back in order. Sleeping together after you’ve broken up makes that messy, and so it may not be what you want.

Let’s look at the reasons why he might still want sex with you, rather than a clean break.

He knows you

Familiar sex is comfortable, and comforting. You know what he likes and what he finds super hot, and he knows the same about you.

And as a result, it’s easy – you know how to get each other off, without any of the fumbling or bumbling that can happen with other first-time new partners.

You’re easy

I don’t mean this as a dig. The truth is, unless he’s got skills as a player and can pick up any girl he wants, it’s going to be easier for him to get sex from you, a known commodity, than trying to pick someone new up at the bar.

He knows you, and how to get sex from you, and most guys are not afraid to take advantage of that information when they’re feeling horny.

He wants to be friends with benefits

Combine points one and two and you’ve got a pretty good argument for keeping a friends-with-benefits arrangement alive and well.

I mean, the two of you already know you’re physically compatible and have chemistry, and clearly if you were together for a long time, there’s at least some semblance of friendship.

As a result, he may be thinking this is an easy way to get regular sex, without any of the work of keeping a relationship together.

He thinks it will give him closure

Of course, on the flip side, he may still be grieving the loss of the relationship. Sometimes sex as closure is a lie guys tell themselves, and sometimes they actually believe it – that if they sleep with you one last time, that will somehow help them get over you.

Of course, that’s not how sex works for most people. Whether he wants to admit it or not, there’s an emotional connection to sex, and having sex with you isn’t going to help him move on. Instead, it reminds him of what you share.

And also, how over is it if you’re still sleeping together?

He thinks it will win you back

On the flip side of that grieving process – and especially if you broke up with him – odds are good he may think that sleeping with you will help him get you back if that’s something he wants.

That emotional connection produced by sex? It’s both very real and a very strong motivator. Our bodies produce oxytocin when we couple, which makes us feel loving and comforted.

As a result, he may be planning to take advantage of those warm cuddly feelings post-coitus to try and get back together.

He misses you

Wanting to sleep with you may not even be as much about sex as simply about missing you, and the emotional connection he had with you.

Most guys are not able to open up emotionally with their guy friends, and given how many of us are incapable of having friends that are girls without trying to sleep with them, odds are good you’re one of the only people he’s able to be emotionally vulnerable with.

As a result, a booty call may be his easiest way of getting you back in his life.

5 Simple Yet Brilliant Ways to Get Him Back After He Broke Up With You

ways to get him back

Put your hand up if you’ve been dumped and you were miserable.

Bet’s on that this has happened to you, and when the nasty event transpired you couldn’t help but think to yourself, “How on earth do I get him back?”

Rest assured, you’re not alone. When conventional dating emerged as a trend, we began looking at our relationships like a game of chess.

We often imagine ourselves with someone for a bit but eventually the inevitable happens – they dump you or you dump them. It’s kind of alienating and it’s not fun, especially if you’re on the receiving end of things.

Breakups are hard for a few obvious reasons. But as a general theme, we get used to having someone in our life and it’s hard to adjust when they’ve decided to leave. Even worse, if you felt that this could be your forever guy, it’s hard to accept that this ended so quickly and so harshly.

You’d think this would be enough to turn us off, but there are certain circumstances in which he may have misunderstood something. You may feel there was no merit in the final decision and that he’s totally in the wrong.

It sounds miserable but the truth is that the ball is in your court. You get to decide how you handle the situation and you can do it on your own terms. And who knows, if you get it right then you might just win him back.

After all, soggy tissues get old fast.

So how do you get him back after he broke up with you? Here’s 5 unexpectedly simple ways to coax your way back into his heart.

Talk it out

Breakups often happen so quickly that you have no time to explain yourself so you can provide more context to the situation.

One of the best ways to get him back is to come up with some super simple sentences that will get your point across in a non-forceful way. Most people are willing to talk at least once after a breakup so try meeting him at a coffee shop and give it your best shot.

By adding clarity to the issue, he might reconsider his decision and the table could be turned in your favor.

Return his stuff

If you’ve been dating for a while then chances are you’ll have one of his hoodies or his favorite watch. While the thought of returning his things probably makes you feel sad, it can also serve as a great opportunity to get him back.

This might sound bad, but sometimes you need to paint the picture a little more brightly than it is. And by that we mean that you need to show up looking super bright and positive.

When you approach it this way he’ll be much more likely to negotiate and returning his stuff helps you get there in the first place.

Be positive

Even if you don’t feel positive then do things that tend to make you feel more positive. There’s a reason why people say that happiness is the best form of revenge and that’s because other people get curious about your big smile, and he will be no exception.

Chances are he’ll ask you about how you’re doing once he sees you doing your own thing, and he’ll get the feeling that he’s really missing out.

Sure, it might be a bit of a mind game but at the end of the day, guys are pretty simple and a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Show interest in other men

Think about dating the way that you’d think about a game of checkers – it’s all about strategy. The last thing you’ll feel like doing after the relationship ends is dating other guys.

But the one thing you haven’t considered is that exes get crazy over that stuff, and it often brings them back.

We’re not saying you should go do a fancy dinner. It’s the most effective when you leave subtle hints – perhaps you tag another guy in your Instagram posts, you like someone else’s, or you leave comments. Trust us, he’ll see, and it will likely help you out.

Do you…?

If there’s one thing that you wanted to do during your relationship, now’s the time to try it. Maybe that means you join a water polo team or you try painting with watercolors for the first time.

Whatever you choose, try focusing on yourself. He’ll get the sense that he’s really missing out and you’ll get a better sense of how good you are at living life on your own.

It’s great to get a guy back but some relationships just aren’t meant to be revisited. Remind yourself that you’re awesome – regardless of whether or not he sees that. If he doesn’t appreciate you then don’t worry, someone else will.